Tia's Thread - Bahu Machhar, Beta Khachhar

Today I have a breaking revelation to share with you all. I think I have discovered the secret of the locha in Script (Screw up in Script). Jaan ne ke liye padte rahiye (Keep reading to know more).

Yesterday, I was watching Sarabhai Vs. Sarabhai, Take 2 (highly recommended, by the way. Snorting-Pepsi-out-of-nose level funny). Maya Sarabhai announces that Momma's boy Rosesh Sarabhai is the male lead of new daily soap - Bahu Machhar, Beta Khachhar (Daughter-in-law Mosquito, Son Donkey). 

In that soap the female lead becomes mosquito (as in irritating and annoying and hard to get rid off) and the male lead becomes donkey (as in Donkey Dixit). 

May be we have started watching BMBK and still think that we are watching KRPKAB. May be Rosesh is now playing Dev Dixit also known as Khachhar and the female lead is playing Sonakshi as in annoying, can't-get-rid-off mosquito. Sochne wali baat hain, nehin? (Food for thought, no?)

In the meanwhile, my expression after hearing confirmed spoilers.

P.S. And yes. You can discuss other shows, other movies, witchcraft, paranormal activities, funeral arrangements here. No holds barred. 

After what you had to put up with, this is my present to you. Consider this space your very own "Venting" Machine. 

EPISODE: The episode starts with last scene from yesterday. I am copy pasting it here. 

Bhaiya is giving Maata water.

Bhaiya says that doctor told her to rest. So she should just rest now. 

Nurse comes there and says that Ishwari should just rest now and eat only light food.

Bhaiya says that his mother doesn't understand light food. She puts four spoon of ghee in his light food. 

Nurse scolds him for joking at her serious condition.

Bhaiya says that people here don't get his joke. He will see if he can get some tea before food. 

He is about to leave when Ishwari stops him. 


Me: Ah, now the spoiler promo makes sense. Ishwari needs light food which she doesn't understand. But who understands? Sonakshi, the nutritionist. So Sonakshi got a new job offer. Sorry not job. Volunteer opportunity without pay. Congratulations, your hard work bore fruit behena. 


Here in Bose house, Bijoy calls city hospital secretly to find out Ishwari's condition. They refuse to tell him the information. They asked who he is. He says he is her family member. 

They inform him that she is not critical. Bijoy says, Thank God and he also asks them not to reveal who called asking about her. 

Dida is standing behind him with a huge smile. She heard everything.


Me: This is why I adore Bijoy Bose and I am not at all ashamed to say this. This is a man who is not a show off. He doesn't show fake concern. But he also doesn't want to see people getting hurt, no matter how much he hates them. 

He didn't hate them on sight. He hated them when they hurt his daughter and broke her heart again and again. 

Yet, when Sona took Dev to hospital when Vicky's goon beat him up, Bijoy didn't once tell her what was the need of her to save Dev. He came there and took Sona home once Dev was fine, no questions asked.

Today when Asha and Saurabh went to hospital to show off their concern, Bijoy quietly found out that Ishwari is fine now and didn't let anyone know that he checked up on her. 

But when Dev went to save Sonakshi from Earthquake, both Mamaji and Ishwari asked him why did he need to save her. She is not their concern anymore.

That's the difference between Bijoy and Ishwari. She has never wished anything but ill for Sona for being the reason for Dev's happiness and Bijoy never wished anyone's ill even though they caused his daughter pain. All he wanted is to keep the reason of his daughter's suffering away from her to protect her from farther heartbreak.

So yes, by all means, keep praising Asha, Saurabh and Mamaji's honey dipped show off personality. But I know that if I am ever in trouble and want just one person to stand by me, I will pick someone like Bijoy who is genuine to the core and staunchly loyal without a speck of fake emotions. 


At hospital, Radha and Vicky talk. Borrriiinnnggg... 

Vicky is upset having to do everything. 

Radha came there to tell certain news. In the process she reveals why she cares for Ishwari to be alive. Because she is the only key to the treasury called Dev Dixit. 

Radha says that if their plan is to work, they need Ishwari under their control. She needs to find the girl who is going to marry Dev. She has already found someone. 

Vicky is surprised. But Radha is very proud of her accomplishment.

Me: Excellent!!! What confidence in Bhaiya's personality. All they need is to press the remote control called Ishwari to make Bhaiya dance to their tunes. See, Bhaiya? Even your family thinks you are a Mamma's boy. 


In the hospital room, Bhaiya is worried for Maata.

Ishwari says that she knows what is he doing. When in childhood, she used to ask him to put something together, he used to put a cover on them and claim that there is nothing to put together. But you can't wish something away by putting a cover on them.

Bhaiya pretends ignorance.

Me: Oh achcha. To yeh kamchori bachpan ki aadat hain. Waise Bhaiya to same to same hain abhi bhi. 

(Oh so this running from chores is childhood nature. Bhaiya is same even today).

What he doesn't want to acknowledge or face, he runs away from it or pretends it's not there. 


Ishwari says not to put cover on her deed. Today he has to talk about what is in his heart. She again wants to know if he forgave her or not.

Bhaiya says that she doesn't need to ask for forgiveness. She did nothing to feel sorry about (*SNORT*). As her son, he should have understood her pain, he should have stood by her. She doesn't ask for forgiveness. Whatever she did, she did it for her kids. She can scold him, she can beat him. But she can't ask for forgiveness. She should just rest.

Just then Sona comes there.

Obivious Bhaiya: Sona, look. Mummy came back to her senses.

Ishwari's expression is like: And I wish I didn't. The damn mosquito buzzed back again. Someone get me a mosquito repellent. 

Me: Ek machhar, ek machhar aadmi ko...


At Bose house, Asha and Ronita are packing food for Dixit family. 

Me: Which they will throw out the moment they turn because came from a non-vegetarian kitchen. If they had taken food from Haldiram's or other pure vegetarian place at least it would have got eaten. Ah well. 

As I said before, they never get tired of their own insult. Apne ghar mein nehin milta naa itni beizzati. To Dixits se karwa lete hain.

(They don't get insulted in their own home, naa. That's why they get insulted from Dixits)



Ronita asks about Ishwari. Asha says that she is fine. They have shifted her from ICU to normal ward.

Bijoy comes there holding a water bottle.

Ronita wonders how did they released Ishwari so soon after heart attack.

Asha says that she didn't get heart attack. She just got high blood pressure and the doctor noticed some blockage.

Bijoy listens everything and says: These days people get blockage in heart so frequently. I think people should keep getting regular check ups.

Asha ignores Bijoy and just asks Ronita to get water.

Bijoy hands over the bottle he was holding.

Asha ignores him and gets water from the fridge.

Bijoy asks: Won't she drink water from his hands either?

Ronita tries to cover up Asha's rudeness saying that she must have needed water from the fridge. She asks Asha for confirmation.

Asha says to Ronita that people say that giving water is a great deed. But the person giving water must have their intention clean. 


Me: Intention? Asha, please don't talk about intention. It doesn't suit you. You know whose intention is clean and clear like glass? Those who don't hide their true intention behind fake concern and emotions. That person is not you.

Whatever Bijoy says, that's exactly is his intention. No one has to second guess what's in his mind and whether he is playing some other game.

You on the other hand, hide your true intention behind progressive pep-talk. So the day you start speaking honestly about your intention, then we will talk. Okay?

Just because Bijoy refused to show off in hospital, you think you have the right to question his intention? When did he ever have a different intention and a different behaviour? When he hated you knew it, when he loved you knew it too. 

But I am expecting a hypocrite to understand honesty. I should just let it be.


Bijoy asks: When did he mix poison in the water? So she is packing food for people in the hospital.

Asha sarcastically responds: No, I am filling out four huge boxes to go to picnic alone.

Bijoy: The reason I was asking is because ICU patients are not allowed food from outside. They get food from hospital.

Asha (still talking to Ronita in a sarcastic tone): My daughter is a nutritionist. She already talked to the doctor so outside food is allowed. 

Then she turns to Ronita: Didn't I just say that she has been moved to normal ward from ICU?

Bijoy is still talking politely: So how long will they keep her?

Asha looks at Bijoy and retorts: I don't know. I am not a doctor.

Bijoy says nicely: They must have done ECG. They should have taken a second opinion.

Asha says: I am getting late and you are making me late. 

She leaves from there.

Bijoy doesn't say anything.

Me: Wow, Asha. Your husband has such a problem with anger management. Really, I am feeling so sorry for you.

You know what, Asha? If anyone had talked to me with that tone, I'd not have talked to them again until they apologised to me. 

But then, you have Bijoy who was still talking politely despite your arrogant tone. If he truly had anger management issues like Bhaiya does, he would have broken something by then and talked later. 

Honestly, if Sona ever behaved like this with Dev, she'd have got her funeral arranged by now.

But because you are Dev worshipper, you can get away being a grade A jerk to your own husband because he didn't agree to show off to please you.


At hospital room, Sonakshi brought Maalti and Kajal. Ishwari sees them and tries to get up. Bhaiya is also worried.


Me: Okay, I have to say something here. Now, we can all agree that Sona, despite deciding that she should not interfere, brought Maalti and Kajal with good intention.

Now say if Ishwari truly gets a shock (or stress which doctor warned against) and dies.

What do we expect Bhaiya will do then?

Will he say to Sonakshi that everything was fine because she had good intention or blame her forever for interfering?

Ever since I had been hearing every misdeed of Bhaiya and Maiya justified in the name of good intention, I had been saying that the end result matters more than good intention.

Even with bad intention when Radha and Vicky end up being cupid for Bhaiya and Behena, we don't curse them. 

But even with good intention, if Bhaiya or Maiya end up breaking someone's heart, their confidence and their self-respect, then how can we justify that?

However, Ishwari doesn't die because we all know that she is too ornery to die so easily.


At Dixit house, Soha and Golu want to go to hospital. Elena tries to tell them that kids are not allowed there. 

Soha gives logical excuse that when kids get sick, they go to hospital.

Golu gives his two cents that she had said to him that when he was born, she got him from hospital.

Elena tries to pacify them.

Golu keeps complaining. Soha keeps requesting.

Elena being the useless mother, saddles the kids on Vicky, the useless father. 

He snarls at the kids and walks away.

Elena goes after him to ask about Ishwari.

He snarls at her too.

Me: If you want to watch the scene go ahead. But Elena and Vicky just piss me off these days.


Anyhoo, in the hospital, Ishwari gets up seeing Maalti.

She very politely says to her to lie down because she is sick.

Ishwari is shocked to see her concern.

Bhaiya gets worried. He tells Sona: Why are they here now? Maa needs rest, no?

Sonakshi doesn't say anything.

Maalti touches Ishwari's feet. 

Me: 

Maalti says: I made a big mistake. Forgive me. I got misled. Because of this girl, I learned the truth today. If this girl hadn't come, I'd have cursed you forever, Ishwari.

Everyone looks at this girl > Behena.

Sona in angel glow.

Wait, sorry. That was the hospital light in the background.

Me: Wah!!! Promotion ho gaya. Us ladki se iss ladki.

(Wow, she got promoted. From that girl to this girl).

But tell me one thing. So Ishwari didn't steal? She hallucinated the whole scenario? Khatri stole everything? What's going on here? 


Of course, then they go into flashback.

Maalti and Kajal were waiting for Khatri to get a cab to run away from the thief who stole their property. After all these days thief chase the owners.

Kajal suddenly notices something. She comes out to check. Sonakshi pulls her out and asks her to stay silent.

Kajal doesn't want to hear anything. Sona tells her that she wants to help her but she needs her help.

Khatri then gets a phone call from Sona who is again offering him money.

Khatri of course doesn't want to believe her.

Sona says that Ishwari got heart attack and Dev and her want to finish this once and for all. She offers him as much money as he wants. She asks him to meet outside his house. 

Me: Hain? Last time he didn't take money. Why would he take money now? How strange.


When Khatri comes there, Sona says that Dev will give him half of his business. 

Khatri doesn't believe her. 

Sona says that they are willing to sign any paper. He just needs to make Maalti and Kajal forgive Ishwari.

Khatri starts bragging that he wants to thank Ishwari first. It's good that she didn't die. Otherwise where would he have got this kind of offer? She just stole two bangles but Sona is willing to pay so much for it. 

Sona is looking shocked.

Khatri says What? Did she get shocked? That's Ishwari's specialty. She stole, but not enough. She had just taken two bangles and he saw her stealing. Then his "devil" brain thought up the plan to steal the rest of the jewellery and all money saved for dowry and blame Ishwari for everything. And now this mother and daughter thinks of him as God and Ishwari is still blaming herself for everything. But Sonakshi is a little smart. So he will tell Maalti and Kajal to forgive Ishwari. But she should keep all the documents ready and call him when the paper is ready. 

Khatri laughs and is about to leave.

Sonakshi stops him and gives him her tashan: Ishwari will be forgiven. But how will you get forgiveness from those whom you had been cheating for 15 years?

She reveals that Maalti and Kajal heard everything. 

Khatri stammers. Maalti slaps him and curses him. 

Khatri threatens Sona and is about to slap her when (surprise, surprise) Jatin and Saurabh arrive.

Jatin threatens Khatri that he had warned before that if he touches her, he will break his hand.

Sona says that did he think she came alone? She gives some more tashan style dialogues as if she needed particular smartness to trap idiot braggart Khatri. 

Sorry, I am not going into details because this was that level of idiocy.

Long story short, Khatri begs for forgiveness and Sona lets him go threatening that now police will see him. But he can go anywhere he wants now. 

Nope, they didn't come with police. Yes, they are that moron. Fortunately, the villain is even a bigger moron.  

Maalti asks for forgiveness from Sona. Sona asks her to forgive Ishwari.


Me: Naa re, CVs naa. Where do you get such useless villains? He trusts Sona more than Bhaiya. He didn't even get his money or signed release and already started confessing. Why does he even need to frigging confess to Sonakshi?

No really. Last time he bragged in front of Sona, Jatin recorded his conversation, he got into jail. 

Then he does exactly the same thing in front of the exact same person with the exact same consequences? That too before he got his money or signed document? Seriously?

Who the eff does that?

But anyhoo, moving on, Sonakshi gets to be the slayer of all evil surrounded by brainless zombie crew.

But I still don't get why Maalti touched Ishwari's feet? Is it to say, Thank you for only stealing two bangles. I am so grateful. 

Now, please excuse me.

Anyhoo, here Bhaiya folds hands in front of the new Goddess in town - Sonakshi. The slayer of all moronic villains.

Sonakshi makes faces not to.

Me: Yes, this devoted Hanuman pose is getting on my nerves as well. Give it a rest.


Maalti says: I have said so many things to you. But you have such a big heart that you had been serving punishment of the crime you never did. 

Me: Hain? She did steal. Two bangles, remember? What do you mean she never did anything?

Maalti: You kept asking for forgiveness and I kept insulting you. But it was not your fault, it was mine. You kept asking for punishment, but I am the one who is guilty. I have cursed you a lot.

Radha is hearing everything from outside.

Me: I don't get it. Okay, so Ishwari didn't steal everything. But she still stole. Why is this lady behaving that Ishwari was blamed for no reason? 

#Confused

Maalti says: I had kept on believing Khatri if this girl hadn't stopped me. 

Ishwari and Dev look at Sona and angels sing hallelujah!!! Flower petals fall from the sky personally sprinkled by God. Finally maa-beta dono ek saath impressed. Sonakshi's to dhanya ho gayee.

(Finally mother and son impressed at the same time. Sonakshi's life is now successful)

She tells Sonakshi: You showed a lot of courage. I can't bless you enough.

Sonakshi gives "Awww stop" *blush blush* angelic expression. 

Radha isn't happy.

Sona says: Auntyji, the truth had to come out. If I hadn't done it, someone else would have done it.

Me: Nope. You had to do it. How else will you gather enough credit to pass the threshold of Dixit house? Gotta get good marks no?

Anyhow, Maalti says to Ishwari to get well soon and come home. Then they will chat a lot.

Kajal also chirps: Yes, (chorni) chachi. Get well soon.

Ishwari is overwhelmed. She introduces Dev: Dev, this (chirpy Tweety) is Kajal.

Me: Oh yes. Bhaiya, this is the person who was in the other end of the knife which was on your throat yesterday. 

Dev says thank you to Modest Maalti and Chirpy Kajal and tells them that from now on all their responsibility is on him.

Modest Maalti hesitates. But suddenly honest Ishwari wants to be the new genie in the bottle. 

Modest Maalti agrees and they leave.

Me: Maata ka leela apram paar...
Ab Dev ki jaydaad mein do aur hissedaar.

(Maata's game is amazing...
Now Dev's property has two more claims)

Thank God, Soha's Mummy is rich. 

PRECAP: Ishwari asks Sona to sit by her. 

She sits.

Ishwari: I didn't know that you will free me from this burden. You gave me life.

She hugs Sona.


Sona's expression: Awkward...


Bhaiya's expression: Yay!!! Mummy agrees. Now who will save you, Sona darling? 


Me: Maataji, a few points for your consideration.


1. Sona gave you life literally many times when she saved your sorry ass from dying. You'd have died long before your drama had she not been there. Not to mention, she saved your ungrateful son's life twice - once from fever and another time from dying by the gutter thanks to Vicky. Why this figuratively saving life is suddenly enough to enlighten you into the path of Gautam Budhha? 


2. This is not the first time Sonakshi saved your family figuratively either. If she wasn't there, you'd have got Riya married to Ayan. Remember him? How come this gratefulness did not appear then? 


Then how can we believe that this temporary sanity will last in comparison to your past record of insanity? 


But not to worry. It seems that Bhaiya and Behena believe you again. 


Like I said, Bahu Machhar, Beta Khachhar.




No Rules!!! YAY!!!

Hello everyone,

Next weekend is long weekend for us (Victoria Day for Ontario). So my husband and I will be in Stratford Saturday to Monday watching plays as is our yearly tradition - one by Shakespeare (Twelfth Night) and one a musical (Guys & Dolls). 

So I won't be writing this post next Monday, May 22nd.

But not to worry. I am leaving our very capable Ashi to open the thread and write it for you.

You know how incredibly funny and witty she is. I will drop in to respond/comment if we have time. 

Love

T