Tia's Thread - Emotional Atyachaar

Today's title of the thread was inspired from SummerRain7's comment from last post.

I am slightly modifying the song to suit Maataji. Arz kiya hain...

Tauba tera Halwa
Tauba piche se waar
Tera Emotional Atyachaar...

(Hail your Halwa
Hail your stab from the back
Hail your emotional torture)


So today I thought I'll write the condition of my mental state after watching Maataji hailed as heroine as if she has singlehandedly discovered cure for cancer, Aids and is now global ambassador of Gandhi giri (Peace and love and unicorn shit).


I started watching the show because the concept was unique. This was not a typical saas-bahu drama as in evil plotting mother-in-law, doormat daughter-in-law shedding copious tears, stupid clueless son who can't see reality even if it comes out wearing tutu and dance samba in front of his face.

Shows how stupid I was, no?

Turns out, this one too is exactly what is described above.

So because the general consensus is that this is reality, here's the reality I know.

1. Core personality of people don't change unless they themselves want to change and in that case, they make an effort to change it. Everyone learns from their past mistakes if there is sufficient motivation. Usually that motivation is someone you love more than life itself. That is obviously not the case here. 

2. People who consistently are jerk, they don't get pardoned so easily. 

3. People who lie constantly are not believed again, ever!!! Unless the other person is a moron, in which case, they should be assigned a baby sitter or a psychiatrist or both.

4. Grown up people whining is NOT attractive. In fact it's downright annoying. No one wants to hang around Debby Downer.

5. Someone who commits a crime like stealing (Stealing two bangles are still stealing. If they are not, I'd like to drop in Tanishq and PC Chandra Jewellers and try to grab a couple of diamond studded ones), fraud (taking someone's signature without their known consent, is called fraud and is a punishable offence in ALL countries), conspiracy, mental abuse, emotional blackmail are not treated like Goddesses. That is not anywhere close to reality anywhere.

6. A woman who was kicked out of a guy's life twice, going back there to save his family as "her" family (who by the way never considered her as a family) does not translate in real life as generous or big heart. It translates as moron and needs a psycho analysis for the pathetic need for approval. 

7. A man who has selective hearing, loses functions of his brains the moment Mummy gives command yet expects to have an independent woman as his wife should get his head checked. 

8. A girl's father who stands up for the mistreatment of his daughter and always fighting for her respect and honour is not a villain. Every woman should have a father like that instead of the ones who tells their daughter to go back to her abusive in-laws because he loves his image and reputation in society more than his own flesh and blood.

9. A mother who tries to send her daughter back from where she was thrown out off twice, who insulted her husband and her son and showed no sign of even a teeny-tiny remorse, is not a wise woman. These kind of women are the reason why even today a woman's success is measured by her marital status and why women have such less self-confidence to fight back for their dignity.

10. A woman who is willing to give up her self-respect to keep her marriage is not better or worse than a woman who stands up for her self-respect and dignity. It all comes down to personal choices and what she is willing to put up with to get what in return. 

Some women are willing to sacrifice more and some women are not willing to settle less than equal rights. That doesn't make any of them inferior or superior to the other or it also doesn't give a license to preach. (Yes, I am looking at you Asha and Elena).

It's one thing to show this regressive thinking for older generation who lacked education, social opportunities and infrastructure to stand on their feet independently and it's another thing to show this as an example to educated, independent women of today. 


Now, there are still a few people who wants exactly what I describe as abhorrent to me above. If that's what is being shown, then fine. Just don't tag it as reality because even reality is less regressive than this. 



EPISODE: The episode starts with Ishwari thanking God for listening to her prayers. She says that a big burden got lifted from her chest.

Dev thanks his new Goddess Sonakshi.

Sonakshi copies modest Maalti. She says there's no need to say anything. 

Dev says: There's need to say this. Whatever you have done for me and my maa... Without you...

Me: Are you thinking that Bhaiya's speech making no sense? Well, then you can imagine how difficult it was for me to write that nonsensical blabber.


Ishwari cuts in and calls Sonakshi. She asks her to come to her.

Sonakshi looks at Bhaiya for help. Bhaiya is no help. He just makes Hanuman pose again. So Sonakshi goes to Ishwari.

Maata asks her to sit by her side.

Sonakshi sits. 

Ishwari kisses Sonakshi's hands. 

Radha gets burrrrnnnneeeedddd...

Bhaiya gets thrilled as in Mummy likes my friend now.

Me: Haan lekin agar yehin kaam Bhaiya kar rahe hote as in kissing her hands, aap ka to alag hi expression nikalta. Hain naa, Maata?

(If this same thing Bhaiya had been doing as in kissing Sona's hand, you would have got an entirely different reaction, no Maata?)


Ishwari says (teary-eyed): I didn't know that you will free me from this burden. You have made a huge favour on me. I will never forget your favour.

Sona: No, Auntyji.

Ishwari: No, Sona. You have saved me. You have given me life. 

Bhaiya is overwhelmed as in I should start preparing new nursery for my passel of kids Sonakshi is going to have for me.

Radha is gritting her teeth.

Ishwari hugs her.

Bhaiya is mentally fixing the name of his future kids.

Radha is mentally counting her bank balance to figure out how long it will last.

Sonakshi smiles. That's exactly she had worked so hard. She finally got approve stamped.

Me: Ookay, enough of this. Ishu aunty, what brand approval do you use that sane women forget all the crappy things you did to obtain that?

Radha, pack your bags. Sonakshi is already one foot in Dixit house.

Bhaiya, congratulations. Once again you get the chick without a single effort. All thanks to the coveted approval of the Goddess mother.

Sona, stop pretending and start owning up to your doormat tendencies. You are your mother's daughter, not your father's pride. 


Radha walks as if in shock. Vicky is there. She tells Vicky that their the end is near. Everything is finished. Ishwari and Sona got together.

Vicky got shocked: How is it possible.

Just then Radha sees Maalti. 

Maalti apologises to Radha that because of her Ishwari fell sick.

Me: Yaar, iss aurat ka kya scene hain? Poori duniya se maafi maangegi kya? 

(Guys, what is this woman's deal? Will she go around asking forgiveness from the whole world?)

Then of course she has to match make. She doesn't know any background, but hey, when that ever stopped anyone to spread free advice?

So Maalti tells Radha that she should not interfere in this (BUT of course she will) Sonakshi is a great girl. If Dev and Sonakshi get back together then...

Radha stops her. She says that she was just saying that she shouldn't interfere. Still she is saying this? As she said, already too much has happened because of her. So to leave them alone.

Modest Maalti and Chirpy (but silent today) Kajal leave from there. 

Vicky consoles fuming Radha.


Me: This is why one should not say sorry without a valid reason. Other people will think you are guilty even if you are not. And Maalti aunty, aap apni beti ki matchmake karo naa. Ab to Dev ki jaydaad bhi hain dahej dene ke liye.

(And Maalti aunty, why don't you match make for your daughter? Now you got Dev's property as dowry as well)


Sonakshi says that they should see the doctor. Dev also leave with her. Radha comes to Ishwari's room in anger and Ishwari looks guilty. 


But of course, Bhaiya is missing and Sonakshi meets Asha who came with buttering equipment as in flowers and food.

Asha asks if everything is okay.

Sonakshi asks if her dad is okay.

Asha says: As long as he keeps holding on to his ego, he won't be okay. As he is getting older, he is becoming more stubborn. I don't even pay attention to him these days. 

Me: Wow Asha. So that's the kind of marriage you are recommending. Such respect for your husband, father of your children.

Bijoy is the one with ego, huh? Correct me if I am wrong, but which advice of yours actually came up with a positive result? However, everyone of Bijoy's prediction came true.

You convinced Sona and Bijoy for Dev after their break up, it ended in divorce.

You convinced Sona to forget about Dev not even bothering to call her on his birthday while she was waiting to celebrate his, it ended in Ishwari's taunts.

Bijoy said that Ishwari will make his daughter's life difficult. That came true.

He said that Dev will never stand by his daughter going against Ishwari. Also came true.

He said that Dev can't make his daughter happy. He was right then as well.

So may be the ego he has is because he is always proven right. But don't think that you don't have an ego. Your ego is that despite you never being right, you force people to do what you want them to do. Bijoy never tried to impose his opinion or feelings on you. 

But you claim that you are an amazing woman because your marriage lasted. Is you pretending to be a martyr by ignoring your husband and his feelings is your idea of happy marriage? Pardon me if some women actually want to be in a relationship where people don't have to pretend for the sake of a marital status. 

I think right now, I hate you more than any other character on screen. Hope no man ever get a wife like you and no woman gets a mother like you. You are fine as the mother of a son. 


Sonakshi says: It must be so difficult for you to come now. But you still left everything and came to see me.

Asha: You were so tensed here. Where else would I have gone?

Me: Why? You'd have stayed in home like you did when you heard your daughter crying her heart out for being stood up by Dev on his birthday. You'd have stayed home when you heard that Dev and Ishwari were forcing her to go through fertility treatment. It's not as if you came running anytime Sona needed you. 

You came running now because you want to tie her in a bow for Dev so that you can guarantee her married status before Bijoy can remind her of the past. 

So don't pretend that you are a particularly concerned mother. 


Asha says: You have shown so much courage. I am so proud of you. In this kind of situation if there were some other person except you and Dev, they could not have supported each other.

Me: How conveniently you are trying to push this match, Asha. 

First of all, let me ask you, do you know what's going on? Then how did you know your daughter showed courage? 

Secondly, the proof that you don't know anything is your last statement. Dev accomplished nothing here. Everything was done by Sona and Jatin with the help of Saurabh. Yes, that's right. So whatever praise of team work you want to assign, assign it to Sona and Jatin. Dev just whined and Sona just baby sat here. That's not team work or partnership. That's baby sitting job.


Sona says: Dev and I...

Asha tries to interrupt: I know...

Sona says: No, Maa. You don't know. I have promised Baba, I sweared on him that nothing can happen between Dev and I and I have no intention to break that promise.

Asha's face looked as if she was this close to closing a deal and her competitor got the contract. 

Me: And this proves my analysis of Asha's agenda. She had been pushing her agenda behind her fake concern. Sona, you should not be bound by your lies to Bijoy. But you should remember why you and Dev didn't work out in the first place.

When you were Ishwari's nutritionist and doing things for her and her family, Ishwari showered love on you too. But the day she saw Dev's increasing dependency on you, she turned against you.

Today the same scene is being repeated. So don't use Bijoy to hide behind thinking that Asha, Dev and whoever then can curse Bijoy and you won't get blamed. Stand up on your own damn feet and take your own damn decision. 

And stop listening to others when it comes to your life's decisions.


Ishwari tells Radha that she can talk to her about anything. Radha is ignoring her and cutting fruit.

Ishwari requests her to talk. Radha says that she used to think that Ishwari thinks of them as her own. But actually she doesn't. She can accept that Ishwari needed money but she didn't come to them. But she is upset about Ishwari hiding such a big thing from them and they came to know from outsiders. 

Ishwari says that they are her own. She asks for forgiveness.

Radha says that from now on she can take her own decisions. That's fine. She doesn't need Radha.

Ishwari keeps begging for forgiveness and says that she knows that Radha thinks of her as sister. She promises that she will never hide anything from Radha. She will always ask Radha about even little things before doing everything. 

Radha forgives her.

Me: So Ishwari, let's start with your bank account password, your locker's pass key and keys to your jewellery box and we will go from there. What say, Radha aunty?


Anyhoo, Asha says: I know you are speaking the truth. But all I am saying is for you to do what is right for you.

Me: Good advice. Remember that and stop butting your nose in.

Sona: Who learned right from wrong from someone like you, how can she make mistakes.

Asha smiles.

Me: Flatter flatter flatter. But you are the one whose life is in clutter. So no matter how much you slather butter, it won't matter because you have your protective father. 


Asha hands tiny lunch box to Sona and says that there is food there for Ishwari ji and there is more food than for one person, so they should eat as well.

Sona nods and Asha leaves from there.

Asha comes to Ishwari's room where Radha was sitting. 

Ishwari looks scared as eff glancing at Radha.

Radha snarls: Now meet her too. I don't understand who is outsider and who is your own.

She gets up and snarls at Asha pointing the chair she was sitting on.

Asha puts her flower on the side table and sweetly asks: How is your health now?

Ishwari says that she is fine. But looks at Radha scared and starts coughing.

She reaches for water when Asha offers to get it for her. She hands her a glass of water. 

Radha leaves from there fuming.

Ishwari watches her going in fear.

Asha as usual oblivious sits down.

Me: I wonder what is this woman made of? No really. In her house, she regulates how people should react, think and behave to her specification and sulks when they don't. Here, clearly Radha and Ishwari making it clear that she is not welcome there, yet she sat down? How obvious could their body language be for her to get it? 

But then, she is on the quest to get her daughter back in her home. So she is trying to ingratiate herself in the family as hard as she can.


Anyhoo, Ishwari, for politeness's sake asks how is everyone. 

Me: Not that she gives a damn. But since Asha is not moving. So small talk it is. 

Asha smiles: Everyone is fine. 

Ishwari: When this happened, Sonakshi was in our house. I didn't know much. But later people said that she put medicine in my mouth. That made a difference. She is a doctor. In this cases, she is used to reacting fast in emergency.

Asha smiles: You are looking tired. You should take rest.

Translation: See? I am so concerned for you. Please let my daughter come back.

Ishwari: Why did you bother? Sonakshi was here.

Translation: Why the eff are you here? I really wish you just skedaddle.

Asha: Where is bother about that? I also told Dev to call us if he wants any help.

Translation: See? I also care about your son and always eager beaver to help. Please blackmail my daughter to go back.

Ishwari's expression: Tu yahan se khisakne ka kya legi? Small talk kar liya, tujhe jhel liya. Ab tu nikal.

(What will you take to slither from here? Did the small talk, tolerated you long enough. Now git going)


Asha (finally got the hint): Okay. You take rest. I am going.

Ishwari's expression: Thank God. I thought she will never leave.


Just then the kids come running there with Elena. 

Asha doesn't leave. She is still there hugging Elena.



Soha doesn't even look at Asha. She climbs in the bed straight by Ishwari.

Soha starts buttering where Asha left off. She asks Ishwari how she is doing?

Ishwari says she is fine (finally with genuine smile instead of constipated smile).

Soha says that she missed her. She should come home soon. 

Golu says that he missed her too.

Soha got Ishwari card she made herself. 

Ishwari says that she got happy just by seeing the card.

Golu says: I also helped Suhana to make the card.

Soha says: No Dadi, Golu is lying. He didn't help.

Golu protests.

Ishwari steps in before a fight starts. 

Soha says that she doesn't want her to get sick. So she is making this card for the last time.

Just then Radha comes there.

Me: Haan bhai. Aap bhi aa jao. Yeh hospital thodi hain. Yahan to circus laga hain. Sab muh uthake ghoos jao.

(Yes, you also come. This is not a hospital. This is a circus. Everyone can come walking in any time)


Soha says that she will take care of Ishwari. Ishwari says that now she will go to her grandmother's house (Asha), then who will take care of her?

Soha says: That's the problem. I wish we all lived in the same house. Isn't it, Asha?

Ishwari isn't that happy to hear it.

But of course Asha smiles.

Translation: Yes, my darling. I hope your mother and you go back under your Dadi's thumb so that I can tell everyone that my daughter is married instead of just successful entrepreneur. 

Golu chirps: That will only happen if ex-Bigchi becomes Bigchi. 

Ishwari is super embarrassed and looks at Asha.

Asha and Elena give each other "Eye"-five look. Because they can't high-five and lungi dance in front of everyone, naa.

Radha fumes.

Elena takes the kids home.

Elena and Soha tell Ishwari to come home soon. 

Asha also takes her leave finally.

Ishwari looks at Radha and looks down.

Asha sees the glass of water that Asha handed Ishwari and smiles seeing that Ishwari didn't drink the water Asha gave her.

Ishwari gives a small smile.

Me: Maata ne thik kahan tha. Insaan apni izzat khud banata hain, aur khud hi utarta hain. Jaise aaj Asha ki aukat dikh gayee. Ghar mein to sherni bani phirti hain. Lekin bahar apne hi harkat ki wajah se, chuhe ki aukat bhi nehin bachi.

(Maata was right. People make their own respect and ruin it themselves too. Like Asha's standard was clear today. She behaves like a tigress at home. But here, because of her desperate behaviour, her respect wasn't even worth of a rat.)


Soha and Golu see Sona and comes running. Soha says that she missed her and her dad. Sona says that she missed her and Golu too.

Soha asks for her dad. Golu asks her too. Sona says that he went to meet the doctor. She asks them to go home and she will send him home to meet them.

Soha asks if she will come with her father to take care of Dadi like she used to take care of her when she was sick.

Sona says that there are a lot of people there to take care of her dadi. She says Soha can take care of her. And she also should come to see her other grandparents (whom she doesn't give a damn about). They miss her too.

Soha says that she will come. But her mother will come to see Dadi, no?

Sona says that she will try.

Elena finally decides to get a move on. Sona asks if Soha was fine.

Elena says Soha is an angel. She helps her to take care of Golu.

Golu asks if he is a kid who needs taking care of.

Elena says sorry. 

Soha and Golu start bickering. Then Golu drags Soha away.

Elena says to Sona didn't she say that Soha helps her caring for Golu?

Sona laughs but says that she used to think that Soha is happy alone.

Elena says that she used to think the same for Golu.

They both agree that they each have learned something from the other.

Elena says that may be that's why her mother used to send Elena to Sona and Dada.

They laugh. 


Me: Yes, CVs. We got it. But guess what? I have a solution for Golu and Soha's loneliness. Let's make the kids rotate with parents. What say? As in when Dev goes to Bose house, he can take Golu with him and when Sona comes to Dixit house, she can bring Soha. Problem solved. 

Oh wait, that's not the point you were trying to make?


In her room, Ishwari is kissing Soha's card. Radha is back on her seat. Sona comes there with medicine. 

Me: So Sona has been now demoted from doctor to nurse. Excellent. 

By the way, seeing Ishwari's expression, all the overwhelming love of about an hour or so ago, is gone already. Ishwari instead making the same face which I make when I see someone annoying approaching.


Sona gives Ishwari medicine. Ishwari takes the bottle and sniffs it and says that it smells bitter. She won't have it.

Sona says that it's medicine. She has to take it.

Ishwari refuses to take it. 

Sona insists.

Radha says in saccharine sweet voice: Since Sonakshi is insisting so lovingly, have it naa?

Sona says: Soha would have had it by now too.

Ishwari says: But her grandmother can't have it. 

Sona says that her kada with neem and whatnot is also bitter. This can't be as bitter as that.

Ishwari says then she can give her kada made by her. She will drink one or two glasses. But she can't take this medicine.

Sona says fine. Then she will put it down. And when doctor comes to scold her, she will watch and also call Dev to watch.

Ishwari asks where is Dev. 

Before Sonakshi can answer, she asks Sonakshi and Dev to go home. 

Sonakshi says no.

But Ishwari says that they need rest too. They can come back later.

Sonakshi leaves.

Ishwari makes a huff as if finally she left.

Radha says: Sonakshi left threatening her about Dev. She asks Ishwari to take the medicine. 

Ishwari, without hesitation, takes the medicine.

Radha says: Wow, you took the medicine so fast. It's good that my doubt got cleared. Otherwise I was thinking so many things.

Ishwari says: What were you thinking?

Me: What every optimist person was thinking, what else? That this doggy tail got straightened overnight. But turns out that us realists know you better, Maata. Isn't it?


Radha says that she thought that when Ishwari hugged her, Sonakshi might use her to come back in their house. She wants to get Dev married, not ruined. (*SNORT*). What she did for Ishwari, even Radha is applauding. But that doesn't mean that they should forget her nature. 

Ishwari says that Sonakshi isn't bad. But she is very different from them. They could not understand her and she could not understand them. And because of misunderstanding her relationship could not continue with out house. But I have understood that just because someone is different, that doesn't mean that they are bad.

Radha get scared: So you are saying that what happened 8 year ago was all our fault? It was not her fault? If that was the case, you'd have taken medicine from her. You won't have made excuses by saying the medicine is bitter. I just want good for you.

Me: Radha is bad. But she speaks on point. Bulls eye, Radha. Ishwari pretends to be good and speaks about the right way aloud. But she never follows it. She had said before that her biggest concern was Sonakshi's good nature and it's still her biggest concern. She will never like Sonakshi for that reason. She would like a daughter-in-law who has flaws by whom she can shine brighter.


Ishwari says that she promised that whatever she will do, she will tell her first. But Sonakshi...

Radha says: But what? The truth is that that Bangalan didn't change and nor your son changed anything for her. You are exactly the same and she is too. 

Ishwari worries.

Dev hears everything standing outside.


Me: And that brings back the crux of the matter. Radha has once again hit the bulls eye. Her intention is not good. But what she is saying is 100% correct.

If in an equation, no one changes anything, then even if you repeat the equation until infinity, the outcome won't change.

That's why human being has two ways. One, if they love something or someone enough, they change to have them in their life and Two, they never change and let that thing go.

For example, if a smoker really wants to compete in Olympics in swimming, he has to choose what he loves most. The smoking or the gold medal in swimming. He has to let one go to have the other. He can't quit smoking means, he will never win a gold medal in olympic in swimming. His lungs will fail him. And if he wants that gold medal hard enough, he has to leave smoking behind.

Ishwari is worried because she knows that she will never be able to love any woman whom her son loves. That being the case, even if Sonakshi bends over backward for her, even then, she will never be able to accept her.

She knows it. But she keeps pretending to be a better person when she is not.

I am glad Bhaiya heard it though. But then again, the question remains what will he do about it? If I have to guess, nothing. Because he never loved Sonakshi enough to take any step for her against all odds which is exactly what I had been saying since season one.


PRECAP: Ishwari calls Sonakshi in Bose house. She invites her to come for dinner with her whole family.

Sonakshi looks at Bijoy.

Ishwari asks if she will come.

Me: Halal karne se pehle bakde ko hamesha khilaya pilaya jaata hain, aisa maine suna tha. Aaj dekh bhi liya.


(Before killing a lamb, it's fed well. That's what I had heard. Today I saw it)...

No Rules!!! YAY!!!

Hello everyone,

Next weekend is long weekend for us (Victoria Day for Ontario). So my husband and I will be in Stratford Saturday to Monday watching plays as is our yearly tradition - one by Shakespeare (Twelfth Night) and one a musical (Guys & Dolls). 

So I won't be writing this post next Monday, May 22nd.

But not to worry. I am leaving our very capable Ashi to open the thread and write it for you.

You know how incredibly funny and witty she is. I will drop in to respond/comment if we have time. 

Love

T