Tia's Thread: Oops I did it again...

Today's I will start with a fictional character who has impressed the hell out of me. Read this article. 

10 Reasons Why Amarendra Bahubali Is The Ideal Husband Every Girl In 21st Century Needs

So since there is a prime example of manhood who are from those rare honourable gentlemen whose word is their bond, a man who stands up for the right thing regardless of who is on the wrong side, a man who loves and respects his mother but doesn't let her insult a woman (any woman), a man who also loves his wife and respects her intelligence, a man any woman would be proud to call a son, a brother, a lover, a husband and/or a father - there isn't much left to say for the TV leads we keep seeing on screen.

Now, don't get me wrong. I can understand that not everyone can be perfection incarnated. And I don't mind flawed human beings. But I want to see either redemption if their flaws are harmful, or them learning from past mistakes or them facing the consequences for their actions.

For example, we want the villains to pay for their crime and we also want the good people be rewarded for their good deeds. No one wants to watch a psycho killer never facing the consequences for their action, do we?

It's not difficult at all. Every human being has in-built system to learn from their past mistakes. Heck, every living creature has the same instinct.

Even if a dog gets burned once, they know not to play with fire again. 

But not the main leads of this show. Nope. They don't learn from their mistakes because that's how the writer wanted to portray them - flawed and unchanged.

Fair enough. But we also know that for anything in the world, if you continuously repeat a process which has failed in the past using the same combination of situations/skills/people without changing anything, then it ends up in a cycle of identical results repeated without an ending. 

Which is what Dev and Sona are destined to be in this particular case. Even in Maths language, if A + B = C, then if you don't change A and B, then the result will only be D, if  C = D.

So happy ending is never in their destiny in that situation. As always, Sona is impressed by Dev, the father and son (just like before) and Dev is impressed by Sona the problem solver and crisis manager (also like before. Sona is unable to live with Dev, the husband whose string is in Ishwari's hands and Dev is unable to live with Sona who has a strong sense of fairness and justice which he can never be when it comes to his family. 

However, Dev, the husband is to remain unchanged and Sona, the wife is also to remain unchanged as per the writer.

So the only way the outcome could be different this time if Dev's family including Ishwari's attitude is changed. 

So Sonakshi has to be content with the fact that again, the reason her marriage might have a shot at being successful is because of external factors. Hence, any time the external factors turn back into their previous state, her marriage is doomed to failure. As in same gamble all over again.

And Dev will again get to have his cake and eat it too except if ever external factors turn back to before and he starts to resent Sonakshi for not changing herself to suit his purpose since he is inflexible. As in same expectations all over again.

I could have thought that they have a teeny-tiny shot at happy ending, however, the new spoiler I saw today made me realise how appropriate Doggy Tail title was. 

The spoiler is that Soha and Golu are playing Ludo. Dev distracts Golu and changes the dice so that Soha can win. Why was it necessary for Soha to win Ludo by cheating, don't ask. I don't know the answer to that. However, due to Sona's upbringing, Soha doesn't want to accept a win (any win) using cheating. She tells Golu the truth. Golu obviously gets mad and runs away. 

I won't give my opinion about the spoiler now. I will wait until the episode airs. But I know what my opinion is going to be. 

Now excuse me, I have to go back and drool on Amarendra Bahubali until the episode airs. 

EPISODE: The episode starts with Bhaiya pacing in his room.

He says that there is no way to find Khatri now thanks to Sona's failed idea. He decides to talk to her, but with a calm head of course and see what else useless ideas she can come up with.

Me: Now this is why you confuse me, Bhaiya. 

You have PI on payroll, police is in your pocket, Media is under your thumb and politicians are your best buddy. Yet you are expecting Sonakshi to a. fix your problem because hey you punched a locked prisoner in police custody and b. for her to come up with the idea to fix this whose help apparently is useless for you.

However, I understand why you want to deal with her with a cool head. It's not that you want to (as your Friday rant proves), but you have to. Well, because Sonakshi is no longer wearing the Dixit's lapdog leash. She can now tell you to go eff yourself and there is absolutely nothing you can do about that. 

But don't worry. The doormat tendency is not going to change in Sonakshi. The writer said so.

Anyhoo, here in Sonakshi’s room (or in Bhaiya’s room, not sure where she is) she gets a call from Jatin Bhaiya.

He says that she was right. He followed Khatri to his house.

Sona says that it’s good that he did that. Now they can keep an eye on Khatri and also asks him not to let Khatri go.

Me: Behena, Jatin Bhaiya na Venture Capitalist hain as per his resume. Paltu kutta nehin hain ki kisi ke bhi peeche laga diya. Itna hi saukh hain jasoosi ka to khud handle karo naa. Kabhi Sherlock ko Watson ko paltu kutte ki tarah use karte hue dekha hain jab who khud ghar mein kharrate le raha ho?

(Sister, Jatin is Venture Capitalist as per his resume. He is not your pet dog to sic on anyone you feel like. If you want to be a detective so badly, then why not handle yourself? Have you ever seen Sherlock treating Watson like his guard dog while he takes nap at his apartment?)

Jatin Bhaiya warns her of the danger of getting involved with a man like Khatri. 

Me: Kaheka danger? Madam to ghar mein baithi hain. Aap to apni jaan ki socho.

(What danger? She is sitting at home. You think about your danger)

Sona: I am doing it for Dev. He is such a good boy. His strength and weakness is his mother and I know Khatri will use it against him. I can do this much for him, no? 

Me: Sure... You do that. But why should Jatin Bhaiya risk his life for you or even your good wee little boy? If he becomes demented animal when it comes to his mother, well, then that's not someone else's problem. You want to live with explosive irrational content, that's your choice. Why drag Jatin Bhaiya? Thoda apna paisa kharcha karo aur detective hire karo. (Spend some of your money and hire a detective).

Anyhoo, Bhaiya listens everything from outside as usual through the trusted channel of eavesdropping Dixit style.

He leaves from there cursing himself for again being a Pappu (idiot).

He comes downstairs and says: I am so stupid. How many times a man has to make mistakes before he learns a lesson? Why can’t I understand that Sonakshi is just trying to help me? I again scolded her and shouted at her.

He bangs his head against a pillar.

Me (sipping Pepsi): Ummm... Sorry, were you expecting a protest? No, Bhaiya. You are on the right track. Just the banging needs to be harder to shake loose a few brain cells. Hamesha kaam ke time so jaate hain. (They always fall asleep during work hours).

Golu sees Bhaiya banging his head, very lightly.

He asks: What happened? Did you make any mistake?

Bhaiya gets away from pillar fast. He asks Golu: Tell me something. If your father tells you to do ABC and your mother tells you to do XYZ, what will you do?

Golu says: Simple. XYZ.

Bhaiya: Why?

Me: Yeh aap pooch rahe hain Bhaiya? Mummy taang de ya naa de, Mummy worship to aapke khoon mein hain. Golu udhar se hi channel kiya hoga.

(You are asking this, Bhaiya? Whether Mummy kicks you in the backside or not, Mummy worship is in your blood. Golu must have channeled it from you)

Golu responds: First of all, ABC ends with XYZ and also I listen to my Mummy because Mummy is always right.

Me: See? Kya bola tha maine? (What did I say?)

Bhaiya laments: I am so mad.

Me: Haila!!! Aaj to chamatkar ho gaya. (Haila!!! It’s a miracle) I am agreeing with everything you are saying!!!

Golu: You are mad?

Me: Yes, darling. The sooner you learn, the better you will cope.

Bhaiya: Yes. You are so young and even you know that girls are always right. We should listen to them. I have grown up so much, yet I don’t know.

Me: Except when it comes to one girl, Bhaiya. Sorry, not girl. Just a Mummy. When any other girl/woman is put in front of not-at-all-woman Mummy, everyone else is wrong. Because girls may be always right. But not-woman-just-Mummys are God reincarnated and whatever they say, proceeds over any girl/woman.

Bhaiya bangs his head against the pillar some more.

Golu: Why are you making hole in the wall using your head?

Bhaiya: Then what should I do?

Me (Smug): Finally. I thought you’d never ask. Brain transplant? Aaj kal to medical science ne kitni tarakki kar li hain. Kisi ka bhi dimaag nikal ke aapke mostly khali khopdi mein daal sakte hain. Bole to neurosurgeon ka number doon? (These days medical science has progressed so much. Anyone’s brain can be transplanted into your empty head. Should I send you contacts for neurosurgeon? 

Bhaiya: I don’t understand this little thing. I always say the same thing, make the same mistake.

Golu laughs.

Bhaiya: You are laughing at me. Okay. Laugh away. It’s all your BigChi’s fault. I mean your ex-BigChi. She knows that I am like this. She should make me understand. But she didn’t. I kept ranting but she didn’t say anything. She just kept standing with her stylish clothes and short hair and kept saying (mimics Sonakshi's tone), “Dev, listen.” “Dev, Tumi impossible.” “Dev…”

Me: Of course, Bhaiya. It’s all her fault. She is the moron. I completely agree.

Sona comes and stands behind him.

Golu screams: Dev.

Bhaiya (in original voice): What did you say? 

Golu points behind him.

Bhaiya slowly turns and there Sona is standing. 

Bhaiya gets quiet as a church mouse in an instant.

Golu is super impressed with his multi-talented BigCha: Wow, BigCha. You mimic ex-BigChi so well. 

He turns to Sona: BigChi, BigCha is so talented no?

Sonakshi: Yes, he is very talented. He is very talented in making a hole in the wall. Let’s do one thing. Bring me a hammer, let’s break his skull and see if there is a brain in there or not.

Golu: Okay, I will go ask grandfather where he keeps his hammer.

Me: Arre bachhe se itna kaam kyun karwate ho? Abhi tak aap ko behena yeh samajh nehin aaya ki Bhaiya ke paas sirf shakal hain? Kam se kam apni akal to dhoond lo.

(Why make a kid work unnecessarily? You still didn’t get that Bhaiya only has looks? At least find your brain first before looking for someone else’s)

Bhaiya hurriedly intervenes before Sonakshi realizes the empty space between his ears.

He asks Golu to go from there.

Golu smiles and goes.

Bhaiya tells Behena: You want a hammer? I will get it for you. I do things like that. Actually when I heard that Khatri made fool out of us and got away, I, a little…

Sona: A little?

Dev: A little more… I mean, a lot

Sona: Got angry and said whatever I felt like in anger. But that’s not a big deal, Dev. You always do the same. People call you batman, superman. But you are Hulk. First you shout for no reason, and then you will expect that I will forgive you with your sorry face and floppy hair?

Me: Kaun log Bhaiya ko Batman, Superman bolte hain Behena? Sirf do chote chote bachhe ko chodke who don’t know any better? Kaun sa Batman aur Superman ko Wonder Woman aur Iron Man ka help chahiye hota hain Joker ko pakadne ke liye aur apna itna bada pappu banate hain har roz?

(Who calls Bhaiya Batman, Superman, behena? Except two impressionable little kids who don’t know any better. When did Batman or Superman needed Wonder Woman aur Iron Man’s help to catch Joker and made such a fool of them in daily basis?)

And why should not he expect to be forgiven every time? Isn’t that the track record you have set for yourself that he can treat you like anything and you will always bend over backwards to forgive him? Even before he has to actually utter sorry?

Bhaiya hears the only point in the entire statement of Behena that touches his only quality, his looks: Why, is my hair not set?

Me: Naa re, naa. Ab to utha le re baba. Ab to facepalm bhi chota pad raha hain.

(No, no, hell no. Now you just take me up. Even facepalm is not working anymore)

Behena: Are you serious?

Me: Yes. He is just that shallow and so are you, Behena. Looks is kind of end all for you as well. Honestly, what else he got to offer beyond looks (gonna go to pots some day. Considering alcoholism, sooner rather than later) and money (which can’t buy sense or intelligence or sensitivity or honour or respect or… you get the point)?

Behena: You are always like this. You always behave like this and expect me to forgive you. But how long?

Me: However long you can stretch your patience, I guess? And considering the elasticity of your patience, it’s as long as he is not married to you. Because it snaps the moment you are legally tied to him.

Bhaiya: You are absolutely right. I also scolded myself before you came in. If you want, you can ask Golu…

Me: Naa, no comment. I need a cool pack on my head and a hot pack on my neck to cool down the hot portion and the cricked up portion for shaking my head in exasperation.

Sona: Very nice, that’s your explanation. Yes, I should be happy naa that you scolded yourself.

Me: Again, you don’t have to swallow the lame excuses nor you will have to come up with one for him. You can just use your brain and dust off your hands from his Mummy issues. But you won’t because you are a moron. So it’s not a stretch of imagination to guess what bull and in how much quantity you can swallow. 

In the meanwhile, Sona’s Watson (Jatin Bhaiya), appoints secondary level volunteer to perform Dev’s responsibility – Saurabh daada. Kyunki pai pai bachake hi yeh log crorepati bane hain.

Keep in mind, none of them know what are they doing and for what reason. So if Khatri off them with his gun, they will die without knowing in what great service, they sacrificed their lives.

Anyhoo, Watson 1 tells Watson 2 to distract the man from the house so that he can add 1. Trespassing, 2. Breaking and Entering, 3. Theft to his list of crimes.

And the newly appointed Watson can add minor accessory to all of the above crimes to his charge sheet.

Saurabh first denies. Then agrees because of course, except Bijoy every one in Bose family is a pushover.

Back at Dixit house, Sonakshi says: Look up here (Me: Hain, where was he looking?) Why do you think that I will hurt your family? Your family is also important to me and this is related to your Mummy darling. Why should I do this? I also respect her as much as you. When will you get that? So if you don’t think anymore that I have made any mistake to get Khatri out, can I leave now?

Sona is about to leave when Bhaiya stammers: Sonakshi, if I knew that you planned all this, then…

Sonakshi: It’s okay. Your first excuse was better.

Bhaiya: Can I help?

Sona: It’s okay. Let it be.

Me: *Snort* Bhaiya ki help kitna kaam ka hain, yeh ab Behena ko bhi pata chal gaya.

(Lol, how much Bhaiya’s help is worth, even Behena knows now.)

Now please refer back to my three types of people article from Thursday’s episode? Yep, this is how you need to take care of people who always need someone to take care of them. Like a kid. Because you can’t expect to be forgiven like a kid with no sense one second and can’t expect to turn into an adult and be involved in all serious matter the next – that’s not how it works. If you want to be treated like an adult, Bhaiya, behave like one first.

Radha is struggling with a laptop. She is trying to find solutions to get rid of Sona from Google Baba. Vicky comes with solution to get Bhaiya re-married. He shows her pictures of girls and tells her to convince Ishwari for Bhaiya's re-marriage. Because everyone knows that Bhaiya doesn't have any brain of his own. Whatever Mummy says, he will do. 

Me: Look everyone says that I taunt Bhaiya and think he is a moron. But look at his reputation. No one thinks that he has two brain cells to fire up his own decision making prowess.

Ishwari is sitting as usual with constipated face in her room. Golu and Soha come to Ishwari because this is Dixit house and even kids with parents feel like orphans, looking for adults. 

Soha and Golu figure out to cheer her up which is promotion of a cartoon channel.

Me: Sahi hain. Cartoon for looney toon. 

In the meanwhile, Jatin Bhaiya searches Khatri's house. Saurabh Daada is keeping watch.

Khatri is about to go in, Saurabh Daada tries to distract him. Khatri threatens him. He slinks away.

In the meanwhile the Watson part 1 finds an album in Khatri's house which has Ishwari and Khatri's picture. He smiles and thinks that may be they have found what they were looking for.

Me: Dosti ke liye yeh aadmi itna chakki piss chuka hain bina kuch jaane. To socho apne pyaar ke liye yeh aadmi kya karega. Some lucky woman is going to marry this amazing guy. Honourable gentleman to bhaiya iss age mein bhi milta hain. Lekin ladkiyon ka taste aaj kal itna kharab hain to yeh bechare kya karen?

(If he has done so much for friendship without asking anything, just think what he will do for love. Some lucky woman is going to marry this guy. Honourable gentlemen are available in today's age too. But when some women have such bad taste when it comes to men, then what to do about that?)

Anyhoo, Saurabh comes home. Asha is fretting. She says that their father is scheduled to return.

Saurabh doesn’t get what’s wrong. Ronita doesn’t get it either.

Asha says: Don’t you get what will happen when he comes back?

Saurabh says: What will happen? He will call me football, praise Ronita, he will make some mistakes, you will scold him and Dida will support me etc etc etc.

Asha says: Shut up, idiot. Don’t you know what will happen when he comes to know that his darling daughter and his granddaughter willingly stayed back in that house and especially when Ishwari ji is there?

Everyone worry when Ronita sees someone standing behind them and elbows Saurabh.

Asha asks: Now what happened? Why are you looking as if you two saw a ghost?

It’s Bijoy Bose, of course. And not only Bijoy Bose, but angry bird Bijoy Bose.

Me: Isn’t it funny that every time people do something wrong or don’t behave in a fair and just manner, Bijoy Bose creates the fear of God in them? No wonder Dixit family hates him.

He is like Bhishma. Always fair, just, straight and narrow on the path of truth and justice. He doesn’t take one cent extra favour if he hasn’t done equal favour. He also doesn’t spare one cent extra unjust behavior if he hasn’t paid it back in full.

But just like Bhishma, he is tied to the family which technically belongs to him, but the biggest bunch of ungrateful people to ever live and always use his generosity and loyalty against him.

Fillers of the day:

1.                 Empty head is home of the Devil > As proved by Ishwari who is lamenting to Mamaji that Dev is happy with Soha. She wishes somehow Sonakshi falls from the face of the Earth so they all can be happy.

Mamaji tells her that they are adults and Suhana’s parents. Whatever they do, they will do for Suhana.

Me: Newsflash, Mamaji. That is not something Maata wants to hear. If you tell her that Dev is 8 years old and whatever he will ever do will do it for only Maataji, that will make her happy. And if you want to increase her happiness to 100^th percentile, just tell her that Sonakshi has decided to burn herself in funeral pyre, jump of a cliff, hang herself with a rope, tie a grenade to her body and pull the pin, has a fatal disease and gonna die shortly etc etc etc.

2.                 When someone has nothing to whine about, they go looking for something to create drama > As proven by Ronita crying over a movie as if her mother told her that she is coming for a prolonged stay at Bose house. Saurabh first laughs, then watches the movie and they cry together. Bose house is a cruel place to live. They give no option to create unnecessary drama and pathos. So women there go looking for tragedy to fulfill their angst quota for the day.

PRECAP: Sonakshi is packing her bags and Bhaiya takes her packing out.

Sona: What are you doing? Why are you increasing my work? I just packed them.

Dev: I was taking things out so that you don’t go anywhere.

Sonakshi: Now there is no point talking about it.

Dev: You are right, there is no point talking to you about it.

Me: This is exactly what I had said in my introduction. This is why, they are destined to repeat the same pattern over and over again.

Oh and Sona, you generosity vanished so soon? Weren’t you going to do some more favour over Maataji whom you respect as much as Bhaiya? Well, he is tied to her slavery for eternity, are you not prepared to do the same?

Bhaiya didn’t made fool out of you, girl. You keep fooling yourself - Again. And there is no bigger fool than someone who refuses to see the truth with their own eyes. 

NO RULES!!! YAY!!!