Tia's Thread - Cracks Within!!!

Today I will share a recent experience with you that happened to my husband.

Few months ago this year, my husband found out that a friend of his has brain tumour. She was only 40.

One of his mutual friend told him that they should visit her soon since her tumour is malignant and she can die any moment.

That lady whom I never met before and even my husband lost touch since his university days, had children and a husband. 

So the family were particularly going through a hard time. This was not a news they were prepared for.

I told him that he should go and see her while she can still control her speech and remember him.

He was not sure if she'd want to meet him after so many years since they lost touch and all. But after some procrastination, he took a day off one Friday the following week and planned to buy a bouquet and go see his friend with their mutual friend (the same one who gave him this news and was more in touch with the sick friend).

But on Wednesday of the week he was planning a visit, he found out that she had passed away. 

My husband still went to the hospital. When I came home from work that day, I saw that he was sitting quietly at the couch.

Now keep in mind, my husband can't sit quiet at all. He is always doing something or fidgeting with something or reading news. He just can't sit and do nothing.

I sat down beside him and asked if he was okay. He just grabbed me tight and hugged so hard that I couldn't even breathe. Then he said: Don't you dare die before me.

I was surprised at his reaction. I didn't know that she was that close friend with him.

So I asked. He said that she was a friend long back with whom he had lost touch. As sad he is for her death at such a young age, that's not what affected him so badly.

He went to the hospital and saw her husband and her kids. A little girl who couldn't understand that her mother is never coming back, a boy who understood but didn't know what to do with the reality and a man who understands the concept of death, but he isn't able to come to terms with it.

His friend was in peace and had a smile on her face when they took the body away. But her family was left devastated at her loss. 

That's what hit my husband the most. The fact that life is too fragile. 

Usually my husband is not the kind to hover over me. But the rest of that weekend, he did.

He needed assurance that I was there and I was never leaving him. I couldn't promise him that I won't die before him but I let him hover around me that weekend so that he get his assurance that I am there and also spent quality time with him creating good memories.

Eventually he got over it and our life went on. But he was extremely vulnerable then and he needed the support and kindness to get over it.

I think Bhaiya also needs that. But since his general nature is to stalk/spy, he also needs to see a counsellor to figure out why.

My husband doesn't stalk or spy on me in general, so his issues could be solved just with my support and understanding. But Bhaiya definitely needs therapy for his tendencies. 

When one spouse is going through some issues, it's the other spouse's responsibility to help them through it. That's how a relationship work.

EPISODE: The episode starts with Sonakshi finding out about the tracker app. The client wonders if she is fine.

Sonakshi makes some excuse and leaves.

Bhaiya thinks that she must be going to the washroom.

Me: She could be. Because as most women know, the quickest way to get out of a creepy date is pretending to go to washroom and then escape from there.

And just in case you are wondering, you are the creepy date, not the client.


So in the meanwhile, since neither Bhaiya nor Sonakshi is paying attention to the kids at all, and Golu has convinced Suhana that her father wanted her to follow Golu's example (We all know, thanks to Sonakshi, Suhana thinks her father knows best and is better than all the rest), both kids are struggling with their test in school.

Soha looks at Golu and Golu looks at Soha. They both find the exam paper difficult. So 

So Golu winks to Soha because he already shared the solution.

Suhana pretends that she has tummy ache. 

The teacher takes Suhana to medical room. Golu smirks.

They call Sonakshi. Sonakshi says that she is coming to school. 

Sonakshi hangs the phone and calls the client. She says to the client that her daughter is sick so she has to leave. She will coordinate with him later about their next meeting.

The client agrees. 

Sonakshi hangs the phone and says: I haven't told Dev about it yet.

Then she re-thinks: I shouldn't either. He shouldn't have put tracker on my phone. 

She leaves from there.

Me: Sonakshi, I am shocked at your attitude. He shouldn't have put tracker on your phone. I completely agree with you.

But that has nothing to do with not informing him about Suhana. If Suhana is sick, he has the right to know and come with you.

If he said that Sonakshi is not doing what she should be doing so I will keep something related to Suhana from her? Will that be even fair? Would you be fine with it?

You have to stop playing tit for tat in unequal grounds. You want to give him back the same lesson? Fine, stalk him yourself until he gets sick and tired of you hovering over him.

But playing games using Suhana? Not done.


Bhaiya looks around and sees the client is still there. He wonders what is taking Sonakshi so long.

Then he sees the client leaving. He wonders where is he going. The meeting isn't done.

Then he checks his phone and sees that Sonakshi is moving as per the tracker app. 

He gets frustrated: Come on, Sonakshi. That area isn't safe for you. Where are you going?

Bhaiya also follows wherever she is going.

He finally reaches near what looks like Khatri's house. He walks to a tea stall following an app. He sees that Jassi is standing there.

Bhaiya is shocked: Jassi, you are here?

Jassi says: Sirji, you are here? What are you doing here?

Bhaiya says: What are you doing here? And why do you have this phone with you? This is Sonakshi's phone naa?

Jassi says: Sirji, ma'am gave me this phone a little while ago and said to take today off. She asked me to keep this phone with me and if she needs anything urgently, she will call me.

Bhaiya realises that he got tricked.

He is shocked.

Me: In a normal circumstances, this should be perfectly fine. After all, one prank deserves a same answer in the same language. 

But this is not a normal circumstances for two reasons.

1. Suhana is both of your child and as far as you know, she is sick. So she deserves to have her father with her. This is not your call to make whether Bhaiya should be punished this way for downloading tracker app in your phone. 

2. You want to handle this problem? First go home and confront him about his issues. You know that he had been behaving strangely since that night. It doesn't take a brain surgeon to decode the reason for his behaviour. If you ask me, he had been pretty clear on the reason. How would you feel if Bhaiya locks you in a dark room because you are freaking out in the dark? That's not how you deal with mental issues.

I'd still have been fine with it if you hadn't left right now for Suhana.


Bhaiya comes home and to Ishwari's room.

She is surprised to see him back so early.

Bhaiya asks about Sonakshi.

Ishwari is surprised. She asks: First you tell me why you are back so early?

Bhaiya ignores the question: Not right now. Just tell me where is Sonakshi? 

Ishwari says: Sonakshi went to get the kids. Today Suhana wasn't feeling well, she had tummy ache. So Sonakshi went to get them. Dev, don't worry so much. The kids are okay. I will get you something to eat.

Bhaiya says that he is not hungry right now and leaves from Ishwari's room.

Me: Bhaiya, while Sonakshi didn't do right by not telling you about Suhana being sick, you should also take the time and think about your behaviour. What you are doing is not comfortable for Sonakshi. She never liked you stalking her. In fact, no woman likes anyone stalking them. So please think if you'd like it if Lakshya had done this to Nikki or Kabir had done it to Riya. 



At Vicky's room, Vicky is video chatting with someone. He tells Vicky that it will take him time to install all the codes.

Vicky says: Bhai, now you won't need to install the codes anymore.

Just then Mamaji comes in and asks: Where is Dev? I just heard his voice.

Vicky hurriedly closes his laptop and stammers: Dev bhai? He is not here. He left for office long time ago. There is no one here.

Mamaji asks: Why did you close the laptop so quickly when I came in?

Vicky says: Laptop is closed like this.

Mamaji says: Don't teach me how to close the laptop. You are definitely hiding something from me. Where did Dev's voice came from? I heard Dev's voice from outside. What were you doing?

Vicky stammers: Oh yes, you must have heard Dev bhai's voice. I was working on voice recording software for work. You must have heard his voice there.

Mamaji asks: Then why are you looking so pale? Look Vicky, before doing anything wrong, think twice.

Vicky: What is this, Baba? If you don't respect your son, how will he respect you? I was doing my work. I told you naa?

Mamaji: If you were doing office work, then fine. But I know you are envious of Dev. It's my responsibility to guide you right. So I am telling you don't think anything wrong about Dev or think about doing something wrong to him. He has become Dev Dixit from Dev with his hard work and dedication. If anyone can snatch anything from him, then it's Dev himself. No one else can do anything wrong with him. Got it?

Mamaji leaves.

Vicky fumes.

Me: Mamaji got suspicious. Now he will keep an eye on Vicky. By the way, Mamaji. Thanks to your wife, your son won't understand hard work and dedication even if they bite him on the derriere. Had he got to where he is by working hard, he could have understood the value of hard work. But since he got everything handed over to him on silver platter tied with a red floppy bow, he doesn't understand the value of the opportunities he got.

But why did Thakkar voice sounded like Bhaiya's to Mamaji? There were certainly similarities though.



The kids come home shouting Dadi.

Ishwari is shocked: You guys are alright? You don't have tummy ache anymore?

Soha says: No Dadi. I am fine now.

Sonakshi says: When I went to school, they had a lot of tummy ache.

Radha comes there and says: Golu beta, you again got tummy ache naa? Didn't I tell you not to eat wafers and chocolate from outside.

Golu says: Okay Dadi. I won't eat again.

Ishwari says: Good kids. Don't eat outside food. You get sick naa?

Sonakshi hustles them: Come on and get change now. You also have to prepare for exam, no?

Soha says: Okay, Mamma.

Golu asks: BigChi, why do we have exams everyday?

Radha says: Oh God, he is talking like his grandfather. 

She takes them to get changed.

Me: I am surprised that no one guessed the fake tummy ache. My mother used to sniff those fibs in a nanosecond. 


Ishwari says: Thank God, kids are fine.

Sonakshi says: I will call Dev.

Ishwari says: Arre, he is in his room. He came back early. He was looking tensed. Did he call you?

Sonakshi says: Maa, I have to talk to you. He had been behaving strangely since last couple of days.

Ishwari: What do you mean?

Sonakshi says: Maa, wherever I go, he comes there. I go for meeting, he reaches there. He keeps checking on me at work. Actually it had been happening since that night when I...

Ishwari says: Oh so since that night...

Sonakshi: But is it a good thing to do? Either for my work or his? 

Ishwari laughs: You two are naa... Arre, mad girl, he loves you. He loves like this. You know that he is very different from everyone. And he just doesn't do this to you. He has done things like this with us many times before. And Sonakshi, don't get mad at such trivial things. You should be happy that Dev takes care of you so much. Do you know that women often complaint that their husband doesn't take care of them after marriage. And here's your husband who cares for you very much.

Sonakshi thinks.

Me: I'd agree and disagree with you both.

It's one thing to care for a woman's well being. It's another thing to stifle her by mollycoddling. 

It's one thing to be cautious of a possible danger, it's another to wrap someone in bubble wrap fearing for danger lurking everywhere.

It's one thing to call and ask how they are doing, it's another to track someone's movements.

However, that being said, Sonakshi, you didn't need Ishwari to tell you how Bhaiya loves. You know how he loves, you have seen samples before and you liked all of it to take him back how he is lock, stock and barrel back into your life.

Now getting frustrated for the same reason which made you giddy before won't help.

Secondly, you should have confronted Bhaiya with what he had done and why he did it. As I said, you don't need to be a brain surgeon to figure out why he did it. Although sometimes you make me doubt your intelligence. 

You are taking it as if Bhaiya decided to start smoking which he didn't used to do before. It's not normal behaviour. So use your medical degree and figure out the root cause of his problem.


Sonakshi comes into their room where Bhaiya is angry.

Bhaiya sees her and starts complaining: How can you do this to me? I had been running after you since this morning, imagining what not and you? You think you will go anywhere, roam in any alleyway and I won't worry about you?

Sonakshi says: It's one thing to worry, and following someone around without their permission is another thing.

Bhaiya: You aren't someone, you are my wife.

Sonakshi: And you are not a stalker, you are my husband. You put a tracker in my phone. What does it mean? You don't trust me?

Bhaiya has "oh shit" expression on his face. But he gets into defensive: What are you saying? Of course I trust you.

Sonakshi: Then what is this all about? Why are you doing this?

Bhaiya: What if you are in trouble?

Sonakshi: Then I will tell you Dev. Dev, you were stalking me. Again.

Bhaiya: I wasn't spying on you. I am not a roadside romeo to spy on you. I am your husband. I should know where you are.

Sonakshi: So I told you naa where I am going?

Bhaiya: Like you did that night?

Sonakshi: I told you that it was a mistake. I also promised you that I won't let it happen again. I will take care of myself. For me, for you, for Soha. I know what I am doing?

Bhaiya: And what is wrong in what I am doing? What's the difference? I am your husband. It's my job to take care of you. And I won't just do it now. I will do it everyday for the rest of my life.

He storms off.

Sonakshi thinks.

Me: Are you getting the extent of his problems, Sonakshi? This is not normal. You need to spend time with him and give him time to understand where he is going wrong. Make him realise that no one is ever happy even in a gilded cage. Even a cage made with Gold is a cage, a prison. 


Bhaiya is sitting on the stairs. Sonakshi comes there and sits. 

She says: Dev, just because we don't agree on something, it doesn't mean that we will stop talking. If we don't talk with each other, how will we solve this problem? Dev, I need to know the reason behind your behaviour. so that I can find out if I am right or wrong? And only you can tell me why you are angry with me. Dev, tell me something naa, please.

He walks away while Sonakshi keeps calling his name.   

Me: Okay. Now keep trying until he talks. If needed, annoy him by stalking. He needs to know how uncomfortable it is. 


Then Sonakshi follows him to their bedroom. Bhaiya is still angry.

Sonakshi sits on their bed and texts him something. Bhaiya reads the text and smiles.

He turns to look at her but she has already left the room. 

So he broods some more.

Me: Bhaiya, while you are brooding, fire up those brain cells and think what you had done all day.


Sonakshi comes to the kitchen where Ishwari is making coffee. 

Sonakshi asks: You didn't go to bed yet?

Ishwari says: I got this new toy naa? Laptop? I am learning how to use it. So I thought I'd drink a cup of coffee. Should I make a cup for you too? 

Sonakshi says no.

Ishwari also says: No. It's time to go to bed now. You also have to go to work tomorrow. You didn't go to bed yet?

Sonakshi says: I will try to go to sleep.

Ishwari stops her: Sonakshi? Try to go to sleep? Beta, just because you close your eyes, it doesn't mean problems go away. We have promised each other that we won't hide anything from each other. Come on, tell me. What is it?

Sonakshi says: Maa, Dev is still not talking to me.

Ishwari: Oh, you mean it's about that thing you told me?

Sonakshi says: Actually I didn't tell you the whole story. Actually that night... 

She then tells Ishwari the incident.

Ishwari is shocked.

Sonakshi says: Maa, I said sorry to Dev. I promised that I won't go alone like this again. He still...

Ishwari says: Oh God, such a big incident happened, neither you nor him told me anything. 

Sonakshi says: Maa, because we thought that you will become worried. That's why we didn't tell you.

Ishwari says: What if something bad happened to you? Thank God, nothing bad happened. 

Sonakshi: Maa, don't tell Dev that you know about this.

Ishwari: So that's why Dev is worried for you. But why are you so tensed about this? Don't you want him to worry for you after such an incident? Sonakshi I told you that Dev's way of loving is like this. And now he is scared so he won't listen to anything. Now his entire attention will be on you.

Sonakshi: Maa, but so much attention? I am not Soha.

Ishwari: But you are no less loved than Soha. Sonakshi, beta understand naa. Dev can't lose you. He is scared that you don't get separated from him for any reason.

Sonakshi says: Thank you for making me understand. Now I will be able to handle him.

Ishwari tells her to go to bed.

Sonakshi leaves. 

Me: Ishwari has improved leaps and bounds and now possibly one of the ideal mother-in-law in Indian television. She didn't take sides, she didn't make a stink about her son and daughter-in-law not sharing every single thing with her, she just listened and tried to reason with Sonakshi without any pressure. She asked the right question for Sonakshi to reach the right conclusion.

But what surprises me is that Sonakshi needed Ishwari to figure out all this. Anyone with two brain cells could have figured out the reason behind Bhaiya's recent stalking.


Next morning, Sonakshi wakes up to find Bhaiya on the stairs of their room tacking something on the wall. 

She thinks: Arrogant no. 1. Whatever comes to his mind, he does. And now see how innocent he is looking? Totally Obhodro.

Just then Bhaiya smacks his finger.

She jumps off the bed: Dev, come down. I said, come down.

Bhaiya comes down like a good boy. 

Sonakshi scolds him: What were you doing? Banging on the wall in the morning? You know naa how clumsy you are in all these? There is Jassi at home. You could have asked him to do this? But no. You want to do everything on your own. It's even bleeding. What were you doing? Even if I make kids understand things once, they get it, but you? No. You won't change. Give me.

She puts band aid on Bhaiya's finger and blows on it: Is it hurting? Speak. Is it hurting?

Bhaiya asks: Are you hurting?

Sonakshi says: Me?

Bhaiya asks: Yes. When one gets hurt, it hurts. But when someone you love gets hurt, it hurts in the heart.

Sonakshi looks at him shocked.

Bhaiya says: Take something for your pain.

He walks away. Sonakshi looks behind his back and thinks.

Me: Good point. Yes, we all hurt when someone whom we love gets hurt. But Bhaiya, in that fear, we can't bubble wrap our loved ones no? Nor we can lock them in a padded cell? We have to be there to love and support our loved ones when they get hurt, feel sympathy and empathy for them, but we can't put electric fence around them. 

Why?

Because it will decrease the quality of their life and their human rights to have their freedom. That's why. 

Imagine if Sonakshi appoints a bodyguard for you who follows you everywhere just because you hurt your finger. Every time you extend your hand, they jump in and grab things for you. Would you be comfortable? 

There is a very thin line being loved and being smothered in love. One is the best feeling in the world and the other is suffocating. Be the clean air she breaths which also is the wind under her wings to soar. Don't be the storm she struggles and suffocates under.


Sonakshi walks to the edge of the stairs where she sees a package. She opens it and it's Bijoy and Asha's picture with young Sonakshi and Saurabh.

She smiles.

Me: And that's being loved, not being smothered in love.


Ishwari is tinkering with her laptop in the living room.

Nikki is watching her awkwardly.

Ishwari sees her and asks her to come. 

Nikki asks if she disturbed her?

Ishwari says: What are you saying? I am just trying to figure out this powerpoint.

Nikki says: Do you need help? Shall I do it?

Ishwari says: No. Work is worship, no? Then one should do their own worship. Otherwise how will they get the result? 

Nikki wonders: Maa, how does your theory fit in all situations?

Ishwari says: I don't know about theory. But if you want to do something right in life, you should have principles. 

Nikki asks: Did you talk to Lakshya at work?

Ishwari says: Yes, talk and scolding both happened?

Nikki is shocked: He scolded you?

Ishwari says: I scolded him. He was pampering me at work for no reason. So I told him that our personal relationship is at home. But at work, he is my boss and I am his intern.

Nikki says: You did absolutely right. Whether home or work, you are Sivagami Devi and Dev Bhaiya is your Bahubali.

Me: Haila!!! Mad or what? You know naa, Nikki, that Sivagami sent Katappa to kill Bahubali? Are you sure that's an apt comparison?


Ishwari pinches her cheek and laughs: You always talk filmy in everything.

Nikki: You are also like this. You always sprinkle motherly love in everything.

She hugs Ishwari.
Ishwari pinches her. Nikki says: Ow, what?

Ishwari says: You will also get motherly smack. What is this? 

She grabs Nikki's hair: Is this hair or broom?

Nikki stammers. Ishwari says: I know why this happened. You put colour in your hair and destroyed it. Go get oil. I will put oil in your hair. Go go...

Nikki happily runs to get oil. Ishwari smiles.

Me: I don't know what is it about Indian mothers and grandmothers, they have this strange obsession with oil. 

Both my Dida (grandma) and Maa think that every problem's solution is some oil or other.

Bad tasting food can be fixed with oil, tummy ache can be fixed with oil, every headache and tension can be fixed with... you guessed it... oil.

If you don't let them put oil in their hair, it's like you rejected their love forever and banished them from your heart. 

I swear to God, everyone of my pre-teen pictures (before I became teenager and learned to stand my ground) looks like my head had been dipped in a oil vat and then braided into two thick braids.


Sonakshi hangs the picture and calls Asha.

Asha says: He was behaving like a kid. He said that he wanted your best picture with your Baba and I. He told us not to tell you. He made us swear. All this little things are so beautiful naa? You are very lucky, Sona.

Sonakshi says: I know, Maa. He is the best.

Asha says: For that matter, your father is not that bad either. Huh Sona?

Sonakshi: Yes, but Dev is better than Dad.

Me: Wow, Sonakshi. When Bhaiya kicked you to the curb, your father was the best. And the moment he took you back, now he is better than your dad? I must say, you are not loyal to anyone. You are only loyal to whichever side is buttered.


Asha says: Okay, your husband is best for you and my husband is best for me. There will be no argument about this.

Sonakshi smiles and hangs her phone.

Bijoy comes to Asha: Whom were you talking to? Sonakshi? Why didn't you make me talk to her? 

Asha says: What would you have said? We were talking about each other's husbands.

Bijoy asks: What did you say?

Asha says: She was praising Dev and I was complaining about you. 

Asha walks away leaving a surprised Bijoy behind.

Me: Sonakshi will be ditto Asha when she becomes older. Kicking the people who gives her love and attention and chasing after people who doesn't give a damn about her.


Bhaiya is working in the garden. 

Golu and Soha come there with their ball and asks him to play with them.

Bhaiya says: You guys were sick, no? Besides you two have exams. So we can't take chances. Go and study.

Golu says: But BigCha, our health is fine now. And we also got ready for exams.

Soha says: Yes, Papa. We prepared for exams. Can we play now?

Bhaiya: You guys are honest that you are prepared for exams?

Soha and Golu says yes.

Bhaiya says: Okay, then let's play.

Bhaiya and the kids play with the ball in the garden.

Soha misses the ball. Golu asks her to try at least.

Sonakshi comes there and asks: What are you doing here? You have exam tomorrow, naa? Go and study.

Soha says: Study is done, Mamma.

Golu says: BigChi, pass the ball to BigCha naa.

Sonakshi picks up the ball and walks towards Bhaiya.

But Bhaiya walks away.

Sonakshi thinks.

Me: Well, what's to think about there? Use your damn brain. Make him sit and talk to you. If he still continues to run, then you start avoiding him. Trust me, he is not the kind of person who can swallow the same treatment he dishes out. But you have to make him talk and listen to you.

And Bhaiya, you aren't a child. So stop sulking like one. 



PRECAP: Sonakshi is talking to Elena. 

She says: Dev is becoming too possessive, Elena. This nature of his, this kind of love, can become a problem for me. I don't want to hurt him, Elena. But his behaviour is no healthy for our relationship. 

She notices Elena is looking behind her.

She asks what happened? Elena gestures behind her.

She turns around and sees Bhaiya is standing behind her with a shocked expression.

Sonakshi is also shocked.

Me (Facepalming hard): Okay, Sonakshi. I think you weren't ready for marriage when you jumped into living together with Bhaiya for the sake of fixing things in his life. 

Here's the thing. It's fine to talk about your confusion with Ishwari because she is older, Bhaiya's mother and she can give you Bhaiya's side of point of view as well as understand your confusion.

But gossiping to your cousin about your husband? That's a big no no. 

When Elena tried to tell you about Vicky, you said that she should not gossip about Vicky with you because then how can he trust her if she does it?

Then what are you doing now?

How would you feel if you overhear Bhaiya complaining about your behaviour to Vicky? Won't you feel betrayed and let down by your husband?

My problem with Asha and you were always that you have one standard for yourself and another for the rest of the world. You never apply your own preaching to yourselves. 

You said to Ishwari that you understood Bhaiya's problems and you can handle them now. Yet, you went and gossiped to Elena about Bhaiya? I just have nothing to say to you anymore. 


NO RULES!!! YAY!!!