Tia's Thread - Moderation!!!
Hi everyone,
I am back. Our summer events went great. The first day we went for bowling and the second day we went to check out a baseball game (Toronto Blue Jays Vs. Oakland
Athletics).
The good news is that Blue Jays won (YAY!!! Home Team!!!).
The bad news is that I got a backache sitting in that God-awful chair for four hours.
TGIF!!!
Today my husband is going to Calgary to meet his family (I am going next Thursday) so I have zero work, just pure laziness scheduled this whole weekend.
Just a reminder, Gauri will open the thread next Thursday, Aug 3rd, Friday, Aug 4th and Monday, Aug 7th. So please join me to give her a huge thanks and squishy hugs.
I will be back on Tuesday, Aug 8th.
Thanks
T
P.S. Also, yesterday's episode has been updated here > Loyalty.
Today's topic is moderation. Moderation is exactly the opposite of Excessive.
Nothing extreme and excessive is good for a healthy and happy life. Be it food, be it love, be it happiness or anything you can name.
Because when any thing is excessive, two things happen.
1. It starts to cause harm rather than good and
2. It starts to lose its value.
Let's take food for example.
If you can get any food, any time and eat as much as you want without gaining a single ounce of calorie, some people might think that it would be great.
But overeating will not only damage your system (even if you don't gain weight) by overworking your intestines to digest them and on liver and kidney to process them but also, would you value your food the way you would if you get certain things as special treat?
Would you think that little trip to Chinese restaurant is special if you get the exact food on demand whenever you want?
That's the same with love.
Love can be limitless but how you treat that love must be moderate.
Excessive love turns into obsession, possessiveness and eventually bitterness when it starts to push away the very people you love.
Love gives one only one right - the right to love whom you want.
It gives no other right. Now it's the other person's choice whether they will love you equally or less or more or just differently than you do.
Then the ball is again in your court. If the other person loves less or differently, can you live with that fact?
If not, you only have one option. Move on. You don't have option to push, demand, force the other person to be okay with whatever you decide.
Love gives people freedom, it doesn't enslave them.
And the love which puts ball and chain in someone's feet using love, it becomes a gilded cage. And gilded cage is no less of a prison than a real prison.
Love can't flourish in suffocation. And if caged, it eventually dies.
Bhaiya needs to understand this. And Sonakshi has to be the person to do it.
Instead of giving in to his unreasonable demands or letting him run away, she needs to force him to listen to her or take him to a psychiatrist. There's no other way left to deal with his issues.
And the current state he is in, it isn't even healthy for him. Not to mention, if this escalates, it will end up impacting Soha in a negative way.
EPISODE: The episode starts with Mamaji stopping Vicky outside Dixit house.
Vicky asks: Why? What is left for me to hear? Is it that you came here to throw me out with your own hands?
Mamaji: What are you saying?
Vicky: I know what you are going to say today, Papa. You are going to say naa that you never amounted to anything. Because of you, your father is ashamed. You are a loser. You couldn't be good to anyone - not a good father nor a son?
Mamaji pleads: It's not like that, beta.
Vicky cries: This is exactly like that. You don't think about me at all. You wish Dev bhai was your son.
Mamaji denies.
Vicky says: I am speaking the truth. You have been Dev bhai's uncle even before I was born. You never played the role of my father. I was always an useless and spoiled son in your eyes. You don't care whether I am here or not.
Me: I frigging honest-to-goodness don't get it. Vicky plotted, Vicky cheated, Vicky stole and Mamaji is pleading in front of him? What the efff?
What kind of Utopia is this where the criminal has bigger voice and better coherent accusations over the innocent victims?
How is Mamaji's failure as Dad makes Vicky an ass? Golu didn't turn into an ass in spite of Vicky's negligence? Radha more than made up for Mamaji's indifference with her over indulgence.
Sorry, this is beyond my understanding.
Mamaji says: Don't curse your fate. People who curse their fate, they only get bad luck. You always tried to be a shadow of Dev Dixit. You never gave yourself a chance to be Vikram Tripathy. The mistake is mine. You have doubt on my love naa? I am responsible for this doubt. But still, if I get another chance to re-live my life, I'd still want you as my son. Then may be I can try to raise you better. May be I can fix the shortcomings in your upbringing. You don't lack anything. Everyone loves you, Vicky. Dev loves you too. It's just right now everyone is angry with you. But there is still time. Just once. If you decide that you can fix everything and will never do any wrong, then no one can stop you. I know my son very well. Look son, you can do it. Don't wait too long.
Vicky: You are too late to make me understand, Papa. It's too late.
Vicky wipes his tears and walks away with Mamaji calling his name and crying.
Me: *Ahem* Sorry to interrupt your emotional blabbering, Mamaji. But if you are that concerned for him, why didn't you prove your love by going with Vicky? Nothing will convince him more of your love, if you offered to leave your sister's home and go with him.
But the thing is that you are like Elena. All talk, no action.
Bhaiya is pacing in the garden thinking about what happened. Ishwari sees him restless from the window of her room. She worries for him.
Next morning, Sonakshi wakes up and sees Bhaiya on the bed reading some files.
She greets him good morning.
Bhaiya greets her too.
Sonakshi asks: He is working this early? Didn't you sleep?
She gets up and sees the file Bhaiya was reading: This is my files.
Me: Hold on, are you frigging kidding me? Wait. Let me see what is going on first before reacting.
Bhaiya normally says: Yes and there's still time left until noon. You can sleep until late because you have nothing to do until 12 and my PA has arranged all of your meeting at home. You don't need to take any tension. Everything will be done at home without you doing anything.
Sonakshi feels weird: But Dev, I have to meet important people. I can't call them at home.
Me: Okay, time please. What the eff???
No wonder Sonakshi, Bhaiya's issues are escalating. You don't set a freaking boundary.
First of all, you should ask him who gave him permission to not only go through your meeting schedule, but also get HIS PA change it on YOUR behalf?
That's the major line crossed right there.
Secondly, you should let him know that your professional life, decision and work are off limits to him. He can't poke his nose there, command your stuff there or re-arrange things without talking to you about it. Even if you agree with him, it's still your responsibility, not his right.
And Bhaiya, WTF? How dare you go through her company files? She works in nutrition business that means her clients has right to privacy. You have no right to go through her work things. Those files might contain confidential and sensitive information and due to her lack of due diligence in protecting those information, she can get sued and lose her license.
What surprises me is that Sonakshi is reacting as if Bhaiya has invited her to lunch at her least favourite place instead of going behind her back to go through her professional files as if it's library material.
Bhaiya's madness is escalating. But he is not the only one to be blamed. Sonakshi needs to set a boundary with him or he is getting out of control fast. If Sonakshi doesn't set the boundary, Bhaiya is the kind of man who will grab your neck if you hold out your finger.
Bhaiya says: Sonakshi, you are the most important person in the world for me. And if those people have no problem meeting you at home, then what problem do you have?
Sonakshi doesn't like that. She says: No, it doesn't feel good.
Bhaiya says: Sonakshi, why doesn't it feel good? There will be no problem. Everything will be fine.
Sonakshi: It's very strange.
Me: What? Strange? Bhaiya is mad. But you are strange, Sonakshi. Good Lord, Sonakshi. Stop talking in vague terms. Bhaiya doesn't get it. He only gets straight talk.
Just say that it doesn't matter whether your clients are willing to come home or not. The point is you don't want to conduct your business from home.
And when it comes to your profession, it's all your decision. Period. Conversation over.
Why are you trying to argue with Bhaiya on that? He has no ground to talk about your profession here.
Bhaiya: What is strange in this, Sonakshi? Look, if you work from home, after couple of days you will feel more comfortable working from home.
Sonakshi: But Dev, my work is very important for me.
Bhaiya hugs Sonakshi: Sonakshi, you know that your success and work is more important for me than my own work. I want you to be very successful. I want you to not only get business woman of the year award, but business person of the year award and that too every year. And I will clap for your from the front seat and proudly say that you are my wife.
Sonakshi: Then why are you doing this?
Bhaiya says: Sonakshi, I promise. This will not impact your work negatively at all. Work is work. So it doesn't matter where you do that from. No?
Sonakshi looks at him weirdly.
Me: Sonakshi, tell me something. Are you an idiot?
The reason you are in this situation is because you don't know how to say what needs to be said.
Allow me to clarify how this conversation could have gone.
Bhaiya: What is strange in this, Sonakshi? Look, if you work from home, after couple of days you will feel more comfortable working from home.
Smart Sonakshi: It's not the matter of me being comfortable. It's the matter of my personal choice. Where I want to work, how I want to work is my decision to make. Not yours.
Bhaiya hugs Sonakshi: Sonakshi, you know that your success and work is more important for me than my own work. I want you to be very successful. I want you to not only get business woman of the year award, but business person of the year award and that too every year. And I will clap for your from the front seat and proudly say that you are my wife.
Smart Sonakshi: Great. That's excellent. You can do all that and I will do the same for you. But what you can't do is arrange my work as you see fit. My work is off limit to you just like your work is off limits to me.
Bhaiya says: Sonakshi, I promise. This will not impact your work negatively at all. Work is work. So it doesn't matter where you do that from. No?
Smart Sonakshi: Again, that's not for you to decide. Whether I work from home, from office or from the moon, that's my business. I am the owner of this company and I will decide how I want to conduct my business. So please, from now on, don't arrange my work without my consent. I don't appreciate it.
Problem solved. Now you wait and see what he does and based on that contact a psychiatrist. If you don't set a boundary, he will not only cross the line, but will also jump into your lap and suffocate you. That's why he is and that's who Ishwari was.
Do you not remember how Ishwari behaved when you two didn't set a boundary on her relationship? She took over your marriage. You are doing exactly the same with Bhaiya what he did with Ishwari in season one. Set the damn boundary, dammit.
Bhaiya gets a call, he tells the person on the other end to hold, then he hugs Sonakshi and wishes her a good day and walks away.
Sonakshi looks mad.
Me: But of course, she won't say anything. God forbid if she opens her mouth. Instead she will fume in private and do as she wishes which will lead to a fight.
Then Bhaiya will argue, plead, use love to cajole her. She will again go silent and fume in private and the vicious cycle of moron will continue until eternity.
Sonakshi comes down dressed (In a much better, age appropriate outfit).
Ishwari asks: Arre, Sonakshi? Are you going out?
Sonakshi says: Yes Maa. I have a lot of meetings so I am going out.
Ishwari: You are going out for meetings? But Dev just said before leaving that all your meetings are at home. He has done such a great arrangement that he said that you won't have any problem. In fact you can even work until late.
She sees Sonakshi's angry expression and asks: What happened?
Sonakshi says: Yes, Maa. Dev has called all my clients and called them home without telling me.
Ishwari is shocked.
Sonakshi rolls her eyes and says: Maa, I know whatever Dev is doing is for my own good. But I want to keep my personal life and my professional life separate and it's necessary too. Yes, I know that Dev is doing this to keep me safe and to protect me. But I will do all my meeting in my office. Okay? I am going, Maa.
Sonakshi walks away.
Ishwari is worried.
Me: You know, Sonakshi what you are reminding me of? A teenager rebelling against her parents.
All these stuff that you go and say to Ishwari or Elena, what is stopping you from saying this to Bhaiya? No really. Tell me.
Why do you turn into a dumb mute in front of him and the moment he leaves you go and rant in front of Elena or Ishwari?
Either tell him what you want to say and openly refuse to let him control your life or conform to his bidding.
But what you are doing is as if Bhaiya is Bijoy who is not letting you meet your boyfriend so you are pretending in front of him and sneaking behind his back.
Here's an advice from someone who is married to a type A bulldozer personality type being a type B person and still retained her sense of self and individuality.
(Those of you who don't know what I am talking about, check this out > Personality Types)
The only way to deal with people like type A is to set boundaries.
One of my husband's friend once told me that she had asked my husband how do I, being a more easy going person, manage to live with such an aggressive person like my husband?
And apparently my husband said and I am quoting (Andrea, if you are reading this, remember this conversation?), "My wife is easy going, but she is no pushover. She is willing to let go of things that don't matter to her. But the things which is important to her, she digs her heel and refuses to move. And no matter what I say, do or try, I know that she is not going to let me get away with this one at any cost. And she also is very clear about how far I can push her. Had she not set that limit or had been a pushover, I'd have walked all over her. But I am glad that she isn't a pushover. Everyone needs to know when to back off. I help her to be more assertive person and she keeps me in check from being too overbearing."
So Sonakshi, since you have the mental case version of type A personality, I'd suggest for you to not be a pushover. Speak up and challenge him.
Because as scared you looked yesterday, it's obvious that you at least don't fear for your safety. So who puts duct tape on your mouth in front of Bhaiya?
Soha is with her classmates (including Golu) and her teacher on the road.
The teacher says: Remember what I taught you in class? First see left, then right. Okay?
All kids agree. But Soha sees a toy shop across the street and teddy bears hanging there and starts walking towards it like a moron.
Me: Keeping in mind, this is the kid who used to go everywhere alone without any mishap and moronic acts when she was in Bose house. That's how she met Ishwari in the temple. But take her to Dixit house, and she suddenly becomes moronic in lau with a roadside teddy as if she is deprived of toys. It seems Dixit house's air turns smart people into idiots.
Suddenly a bike comes and Suhana closes her eyes.
Golu and the teacher shout her name.
Me: Also, she lost her presence of mind. This time she wasn't even in shock of finding out who her father is. She is just stupid now.
Anyhoo, Bhaiya gets a phone call at work. It's Suhana's school informing him of her accident.
He excuses himself and leaves.
Sonakshi is meeting someone when she gets Bhaiya's call. Sonakshi sees the call, but doesn't pick up the phone.
Bhaiya says to himself: Come on, Sonakshi. Pick up the phone. Didn't I say at least stay close to the phone?
Me: Bhaiya, what's the need for phone? As far as you know, Sonakshi is at home. Then you can just as easily call the landline, no?
The lady with her tells her that she can pick up the phone.
But Sonakshi says that she doesn't need to. She will call later and will send the drafts to her by mail.
But the phone keeps ringing. So she finally excuses herself and picks up the phone. She asks why is he calling. She was in a meeting.
Bhaiya says: It's not the time to argue. Just reach Suhana's school.
Sonakshi asks for the reason and Bhaiya tells her.
She is shocked.
Me: Sonakshi, here's the deal. If you don't want to pick up a call during meeting, then show some manners and put it on silent. If you keep it in full volume, then the constant ringing is annoying to the client. They might say with due courtesy that you can attend the call, but you should show some courtesy as well and shut off your phone.
They both hop onto their car and leave for school.
Bhaiya calls her again: Sonakshi, where are you? I am stuck in traffic.
Sonakshi says: I am also stuck in traffic in the highway.
Bhaiya is surprised to hear that: Highway? Why did you go to Gurgaon?
Sonakshi says: I had meeting and had to meet my client.
Bhaiya says: Sonakshi, while you are there with your client, Suhana is alone. You just stay over there.
Me: Say what? Then why don't you stay wherever you are too, Bhaiya? Suhana doesn't have you beside her holding her pinkie either.
Bhaiya reaches school and sees Suhana with bandage on her head.
He asks if she is alright. The doctor comes there and says that there's no need to worry. It's a minor injury. He has bandaged her. She will be fine in few days.
The doctor gives her ice cream. Suhana thanks him.
The doctor leaves.
Me: Also in the right place since Suhana's brain got damaged by Dixit trauma.
Also, since when you get ice cream for head injury? Did she get her teeth taken out? Seriously, this show is like medical profession ki maa ki aankh... (Eff the medical profession)...
Bhaiya asks: Suhana, where is your Mummy?
Suhana says: Mamma is not here. Papa, where is Mamma?
Bhaiya is more in pain of Sonakshi not being here than Suhana.
He says: She will come. You don't have to worry about her. You tell me how did you get injured?
Suhana says: We went out with our teacher.
Me: No Suhana. That's not how you got the injury. If you have to answer in one line, this is a better answer, "I was walking like a moron in the street staring at a teddy bear". Now that's the right answer in a single sentence. But these days, you lie like Golu like when he had said that a girl named Suhana Bose bothers him without telling Bhaiya about what he did.
Bhaiya asks: Which teacher?
Suhana raises her finger and points at her.
Bhaiya sees Vicky is talking to the teacher. He is saying: First of all, you should not have taken the kids to the street. And if you had taken her, you should have paid attention to them. What if something had happened to Suhana? You are a teacher and you...
Suddenly he sees Bhaiya. He says thank you and leaves.
Me: Now what is this new drama? Until today, Suhana was his personal pin cushion and suddenly so much concern? How did he find out about Suhana anyway? The school didn't call Sonakshi, then why would they call Vicky?
Bhaiya glares at the teacher: What happened? How did such a huge injury happened in your presence?
The teacher says: Mr. Dixit, please calm down. Every kids were in queue. Suhana suddenly got distracted by a teddy and left the queue to go after the teddy. I wanted to talk to you and Mrs. Dixit. Where's Mrs. Dixit? She is not here?
Bhaiya is upset.
Me: What upset? Tell the teacher to give a time to meet with you two. Even if Sonakshi was here, would you two waste your time meeting with the teacher or take your daughter with the "huge injury" home? Seriously?
Sonakshi comes home and calls Suhana's name.
Bhaiya says: Be quiet. Suhana is sleeping.
Sonakshi says: But I want to see her, Dev.
Bhaiya grabs her hand and drags her to him: Sonakshi, I told you naa. She was waiting for you, but I made her understand that you are busy at work.
Me: Ummm... Bhaiya. Suhana is used to her mother working. That's how she grew up. I doubt she was throwing a tantrum and pining away into a stick because her mother and father BOTH didn't show up at the same time.
One parent is more than enough to pick up a kid from school. This is not her graduation ceremony.
Sonakshi says: Dev, I went to school. But why didn't you call and tell me that you are bringing her home?
Bhaiya: I didn't call because I thought you'd be busy, in a meeting. So I shouldn't disturb.
Sonakshi: Dev, I was stuck in traffic. What else could I do?
Me: Precisely. Which he also knew because you had told him exactly that when he called you to deliver the same news.
Bhaiya: Okay. So next time if Suhana asks about her mother, I will tell her that she was stuck in traffic, not busy in a meeting.
Me: Seriously? What's the big deal? Whatever is the situation then, just tell Suhana that. Unlike Sonakshi who had to make up fake excuses every time you disappeared to sulk and pout, her situations doesn't require fake excuses. The truth is very much acceptable and understandable in her case. I can't say the same for your Milkha tendencies though.
Sonakshi says: I don't know why you are getting so angry. The moment I got your call, I left from there.
Bhaiya: When Suhana needed her mother, you weren't there.
Me: But you were there naa? Then? Think of it as your making up for lost times for all those years when Suhana needed her father and you weren't there. You got opportunities now. So take charge and be there.
I didn't see Suhana whining for Sonakshi as much you are whining for her.
Sonakshi says: I can't predict all these.
Bhaiya: If you had listened to me, this won't have happened.
Sonakshi glares at him.
Bhaiya says: I should have taken some decisions long ago.
Sonakshi: What decisions?
Bhaiya says: From now on, you don't go to work.
Sonakshi: Huh?
Bhaiya: From now on, you will work from home and manage all meetings and work from home. This will be good for our family. You will be at home. So you will be available for Suhana all the time.
Me: Wait a minute. I think my hearing got damaged. I thought Bhaiya said that he should have taken a decision long back, but all he talked about is what Sonakshi should be doing.
Then who is taking the decision exactly? I mean as far as I understand, if it's about Sonakshi's work, then she should take the decision.
Now Bhaiya can do exactly what he suggested himself. As in he can work from home and manage his work and meetings from here so that he is available for Suhana. But he can't tell Sonakshi that.
Sonakshi is shocked: Dev, I don't want to talk to you at all. You are not understanding that this time is not the time to taunt and fight with each other. I am going to Soha.
She leaves.
Bhaiya starts making calls and says: I want Sonakshi's home office design asap.
Me: You really think that you will set a nicely decorated diamond studded cage with luxury furniture and Sonakshi will tweety toot her way in without protest? Don't you know your wife at all, Bhaiya?
Ishwari is sitting with Suhana and rubbing her hand.
Sonakshi comes there crying.
She says: Soha, what happened? I am sorry, Mumma wasn't with you.
Soha says: It's okay, Mumma. Now I am fine. Vicky chachu reached there before anyone else and he took me to the doctor and he also scolded the doctor.
Ishwari looks at Radha who comes to the door.
Me: But the question is, how did Vicky know that Suhana got injured because the school calls parents. If Golu's school never even called Vicky for Golu, then why would they call Vicky for Soha? Is he also stalking Soha and Golu to manipulate a way in?
Sonakshi smiles and says: I am glad you are alright. You must be in pain, no? You should rest now. Mamma is with you. Go to sleep.
She kisses Suhana's hand.
Radha says: My red has made mistakes, he has hurt everybody. But he is not evil. If he gets a chance, he will definitely fix his mistakes.
Me: I am sure an axe murderer's mother also thinks the same. By the way, Radha, this is not Vicky's first mistake. This is the biggest one. He had made mistakes before and he kept getting chances. Sorry, you don't get unlimited chances in life. You should have thought about it before letting him get away with his backstabbing.
Ishwari says: It's very hard to change Dev's decision. He thinks very carefully before doing anything. And Vicky has given him such a huge reason.
Radha: Jiji, my Vicky will never return in this home?
Ishwari walks away silently.
Radha asks Sonakshi, the soft touch/popularity contest contender: Sonakshi, you also think that my Vicky will never be a better person? You also think that he shouldn't get another chance? I agree that he made a lot of mistakes and his mistakes aren't worth forgiving. But was Dev throwing him out of the house right?
Sonakshi takes the easy way out: Mamiji, right now, I am not getting anything except Soha.
Radha says: Sonakshi, when one's child get hurt, it hurts parents a lot. I am glad to know that you know this very well.
Radha leaves crying. Sonakshi is sad.
Me: Okay, smart Sonakshi time again. Stupid Sonakshi, watch and learn.
Radha asks: Sonakshi, you also think that my Vicky will never be a better person? You also think that he shouldn't get another chance? I agree that he made a lot of mistakes and his mistakes aren't worth forgiving. But was Dev throwing him out of the house right?
Smart Sonakshi: Mamiji, everyone makes mistakes. But only those deserve a second chance who repents for their mistakes. And Vicky didn't just get second chance, he got third, fourth and fifth chances. Even I gave him a chance after I found out what he did against my better judgement.
But what did he do? Instead of repenting, he tried to sabotage and bankrupt my husband. So I am asking you. If I was where Vicky is and I had hurt Vicky and despite you giving me another chance, I tried to hurt Vicky again and not repent even an ounce, would you keep giving me chances?
Radha says: Sonakshi, when one's child get hurt, it hurts parents a lot. I am glad to know that you know this very well.
Smart Sonakshi: Yes, I know. When one's child gets hurt, it hurts. But when that child goes around hurting others, then they will have to pay the price. And by the way, your child isn't hurting because he is repenting. He is hurting because he lost his cushy life and if he keeps getting chances after screwing up, he will never learn his lesson.
Elena comes to meet Vicky. Vicky asks how is she and then comes to the point: Did Dev bhai talk about me?
Elena says: Vicky, no one is talking about you at home.
Vicky says: That means I have to stay out of the home. It means I can't even come there, naa?
Me: And that was the whole point. He is not upset that he lost his family. He is upset that he lost his cushy life.
Had he really wanted to meet his family, he will get a job, work hard and bring his family to stay with him. But is he doing that? No. He is just trying to locate a short cut to re-enter Dixit house to mooch off Bhaiya.
Elena says: Of course not. Dev bhai is still angry and frankly, I don't blame him.
Vicky: Why would you blame him? Had you not told him anything Elena, he won't have thrown me out. Why did you do this, Elena? When I was leaving, you didn't even once supported me?
Elena says: Yes, Vicky. I did this. Because I want you to make a new beginning without any lies and fear. Because you need to know how much you have hurt your family. If you don't realise then how will you fix your mistakes? Believe it or not, I did it all for you so that you don't repeat the same mistakes. You have everything. We love each other. We have Golu. We don't need anything else. If you want, you can achieve everything you want to achieve. But at least give yourself a chance, please.
Vicky thinks.
Me: Is this guy serious? You frigging idiot, even if Elena hadn't told him about the past, you already had dug enough hole with Thakkar to bury yourself in. So either way you'd have been kicked out. Whatever Elena told him became just an add on at that point.
And support? From Elena? Well, she has come to meet you at least. When she ditched her family, she didn't even ask them if they are still alive or dead. So count yourself lucky. She must really love you.
Sonakshi and Dev are sitting in an office.
That guy (who knows who he is): You should pay attention some more. You can't stop accident. But after accident, a child needs moral and psychological support and I don't think anyone better than you can provide that.
Me: Wow!!! Sonakshi took my advice. She took Bhaiya to psychiatrist. Yay!!!
The dude: Dr. Bose, you are a mother, naa? You should take care of your child more. Listen to me carefully. All these work, business comes later. You shouldn't be this much careless again.
Me: Hain? Sonakshi is Bhaiya's mother? Wait, is this dude talking about Soha? What the?
You bloody arse, Soha needs frigging moral and psychological support for behaving like an idiot who didn't even get a single problem for not meeting her father for 7 years?
And why the heck Sona has to care for more than Bhaiya?
And how was Sonakshi careless? Did the accident happened on her watch? No. The accident happened on your school hours. So it's your responsibility. Why don't you also quit your job and care for your kids, you jerk?
God, how does chauvinist pricks become in charge of schools?
Bhaiya says: That's enough. I got what you are trying to say.
Me: Good for you. Also tell him that don't try to shift the blame on Sonakshi because your stuff was incompetent. What happened was Suhana and your stuff's fault.
Sonakshi is kissing a sleeping Suhana. Bhaiya comes there.
Bhaiya: When I see you loving Suhana like this, I feel a lot of love for you. I guess I love seeing you in the role of a mother.
Sonakshi: And in other roles? I am Soha's mother, was and always will be. Whether I am around her all the time, it doesn't change anything, right?
Bhaiya: You are talking about working from home thing. Sonakshi, you still have problem with my idea of you working from home?
Sonakshi: Dev, you know I can do anything for Soha. Okay, tell me one thing. Tell me, whom you admire the most in life?
Bhaiya: What kind of question is this?
Sonakshi: Answer me.
Bhaiya: Of course my mother.
Sonakshi: And why do you admire her?
Bhaiya: Because Maa has done a lot for us, she never gave up, sacrificed a lot for us, (Me: Yadi yadi yada. You know the drill).
Sonakshi: Then Dev, if I want to do something for my daughter's future. If I want to make sure that she looks up to me when she grows up, then what's wrong in that?
Bhaiya: Sonakshi, why aren't you understanding? My mother and our situation is different. We have everything.
Sonakshi: Exactly. You have everything but I haven't reached there yet.
Bhaiya: What is mine, isn't it yours as well?
Sonakshi: And what I earn, won't that be yours as well? Dev, I want when Soha grows up, she doesn't just have her Papa as her role model, but her Mamma should also be her role model. Her mother should have her own place like you have for your mother. Dev, I want to achieve that. Today whatever I am is because of Soha. I got my inspiration from her. If tomorrow she asks me, what should I tell her? That I left everything because your Papa has everything? What kind of example is that? I don't want to lose my identity.
Bhaiya: What about your responsibility for Soha? What about them?
Sonakshi: Soha is my responsibility and I will take care of her like I always had been. But Dev, is she only my responsibility? Dev, she is our daughter.
Bhaiya thinks.
Me: Excellent. Finally Smart Sonakshi showed up. This is exactly what I wanted her to do, Sonakshi.
Without losing your temper, without whining to others, just talk with clear cut logic.
Where were you Smart Sonakshi? Stupid Sonakshi was annoying me for so long....
PRECAP: Sonakshi asks her colleague when is the next meeting.
The colleague answers: You have no meeting scheduled at office.
Sonakshi calls Bhaiya.
Bhaiya says: Where are you Sonakshi? You should have been at home. Okay, come home soon. People are waiting for you here for meeting.
Sonakshi keeps shouting Dev, Dev. But he hangs the phone.
Ishwari is standing behind Bhaiya shocked.
Me: I am totally getting you, Ishwari. It's hard to see one's son turning crazy. Now Sonakshi is not doing anything. At least you take him to a psychiatrist. You are getting how bad his condition is getting, right?
NO RULES!!! YAY!!!
I am back. Our summer events went great. The first day we went for bowling and the second day we went to check out a baseball game (Toronto Blue Jays Vs. Oakland
Athletics).
The good news is that Blue Jays won (YAY!!! Home Team!!!).
The bad news is that I got a backache sitting in that God-awful chair for four hours.
TGIF!!!
Today my husband is going to Calgary to meet his family (I am going next Thursday) so I have zero work, just pure laziness scheduled this whole weekend.
Just a reminder, Gauri will open the thread next Thursday, Aug 3rd, Friday, Aug 4th and Monday, Aug 7th. So please join me to give her a huge thanks and squishy hugs.
I will be back on Tuesday, Aug 8th.
Thanks
T
P.S. Also, yesterday's episode has been updated here > Loyalty.
Today's topic is moderation. Moderation is exactly the opposite of Excessive.
Nothing extreme and excessive is good for a healthy and happy life. Be it food, be it love, be it happiness or anything you can name.
Because when any thing is excessive, two things happen.
1. It starts to cause harm rather than good and
2. It starts to lose its value.
Let's take food for example.
If you can get any food, any time and eat as much as you want without gaining a single ounce of calorie, some people might think that it would be great.
But overeating will not only damage your system (even if you don't gain weight) by overworking your intestines to digest them and on liver and kidney to process them but also, would you value your food the way you would if you get certain things as special treat?
Would you think that little trip to Chinese restaurant is special if you get the exact food on demand whenever you want?
That's the same with love.
Love can be limitless but how you treat that love must be moderate.
Excessive love turns into obsession, possessiveness and eventually bitterness when it starts to push away the very people you love.
Love gives one only one right - the right to love whom you want.
It gives no other right. Now it's the other person's choice whether they will love you equally or less or more or just differently than you do.
Then the ball is again in your court. If the other person loves less or differently, can you live with that fact?
If not, you only have one option. Move on. You don't have option to push, demand, force the other person to be okay with whatever you decide.
Love gives people freedom, it doesn't enslave them.
And the love which puts ball and chain in someone's feet using love, it becomes a gilded cage. And gilded cage is no less of a prison than a real prison.
Love can't flourish in suffocation. And if caged, it eventually dies.
Bhaiya needs to understand this. And Sonakshi has to be the person to do it.
Instead of giving in to his unreasonable demands or letting him run away, she needs to force him to listen to her or take him to a psychiatrist. There's no other way left to deal with his issues.
And the current state he is in, it isn't even healthy for him. Not to mention, if this escalates, it will end up impacting Soha in a negative way.
EPISODE: The episode starts with Mamaji stopping Vicky outside Dixit house.
Vicky asks: Why? What is left for me to hear? Is it that you came here to throw me out with your own hands?
Mamaji: What are you saying?
Vicky: I know what you are going to say today, Papa. You are going to say naa that you never amounted to anything. Because of you, your father is ashamed. You are a loser. You couldn't be good to anyone - not a good father nor a son?
Mamaji pleads: It's not like that, beta.
Vicky cries: This is exactly like that. You don't think about me at all. You wish Dev bhai was your son.
Mamaji denies.
Vicky says: I am speaking the truth. You have been Dev bhai's uncle even before I was born. You never played the role of my father. I was always an useless and spoiled son in your eyes. You don't care whether I am here or not.
Me: I frigging honest-to-goodness don't get it. Vicky plotted, Vicky cheated, Vicky stole and Mamaji is pleading in front of him? What the efff?
What kind of Utopia is this where the criminal has bigger voice and better coherent accusations over the innocent victims?
How is Mamaji's failure as Dad makes Vicky an ass? Golu didn't turn into an ass in spite of Vicky's negligence? Radha more than made up for Mamaji's indifference with her over indulgence.
Sorry, this is beyond my understanding.
Mamaji says: Don't curse your fate. People who curse their fate, they only get bad luck. You always tried to be a shadow of Dev Dixit. You never gave yourself a chance to be Vikram Tripathy. The mistake is mine. You have doubt on my love naa? I am responsible for this doubt. But still, if I get another chance to re-live my life, I'd still want you as my son. Then may be I can try to raise you better. May be I can fix the shortcomings in your upbringing. You don't lack anything. Everyone loves you, Vicky. Dev loves you too. It's just right now everyone is angry with you. But there is still time. Just once. If you decide that you can fix everything and will never do any wrong, then no one can stop you. I know my son very well. Look son, you can do it. Don't wait too long.
Vicky: You are too late to make me understand, Papa. It's too late.
Vicky wipes his tears and walks away with Mamaji calling his name and crying.
Me: *Ahem* Sorry to interrupt your emotional blabbering, Mamaji. But if you are that concerned for him, why didn't you prove your love by going with Vicky? Nothing will convince him more of your love, if you offered to leave your sister's home and go with him.
But the thing is that you are like Elena. All talk, no action.
Bhaiya is pacing in the garden thinking about what happened. Ishwari sees him restless from the window of her room. She worries for him.
Next morning, Sonakshi wakes up and sees Bhaiya on the bed reading some files.
She greets him good morning.
Bhaiya greets her too.
Sonakshi asks: He is working this early? Didn't you sleep?
She gets up and sees the file Bhaiya was reading: This is my files.
Me: Hold on, are you frigging kidding me? Wait. Let me see what is going on first before reacting.
Bhaiya normally says: Yes and there's still time left until noon. You can sleep until late because you have nothing to do until 12 and my PA has arranged all of your meeting at home. You don't need to take any tension. Everything will be done at home without you doing anything.
Sonakshi feels weird: But Dev, I have to meet important people. I can't call them at home.
Me: Okay, time please. What the eff???
No wonder Sonakshi, Bhaiya's issues are escalating. You don't set a freaking boundary.
First of all, you should ask him who gave him permission to not only go through your meeting schedule, but also get HIS PA change it on YOUR behalf?
That's the major line crossed right there.
Secondly, you should let him know that your professional life, decision and work are off limits to him. He can't poke his nose there, command your stuff there or re-arrange things without talking to you about it. Even if you agree with him, it's still your responsibility, not his right.
And Bhaiya, WTF? How dare you go through her company files? She works in nutrition business that means her clients has right to privacy. You have no right to go through her work things. Those files might contain confidential and sensitive information and due to her lack of due diligence in protecting those information, she can get sued and lose her license.
What surprises me is that Sonakshi is reacting as if Bhaiya has invited her to lunch at her least favourite place instead of going behind her back to go through her professional files as if it's library material.
Bhaiya's madness is escalating. But he is not the only one to be blamed. Sonakshi needs to set a boundary with him or he is getting out of control fast. If Sonakshi doesn't set the boundary, Bhaiya is the kind of man who will grab your neck if you hold out your finger.
Bhaiya says: Sonakshi, you are the most important person in the world for me. And if those people have no problem meeting you at home, then what problem do you have?
Sonakshi doesn't like that. She says: No, it doesn't feel good.
Bhaiya says: Sonakshi, why doesn't it feel good? There will be no problem. Everything will be fine.
Sonakshi: It's very strange.
Me: What? Strange? Bhaiya is mad. But you are strange, Sonakshi. Good Lord, Sonakshi. Stop talking in vague terms. Bhaiya doesn't get it. He only gets straight talk.
Just say that it doesn't matter whether your clients are willing to come home or not. The point is you don't want to conduct your business from home.
And when it comes to your profession, it's all your decision. Period. Conversation over.
Why are you trying to argue with Bhaiya on that? He has no ground to talk about your profession here.
Bhaiya: What is strange in this, Sonakshi? Look, if you work from home, after couple of days you will feel more comfortable working from home.
Sonakshi: But Dev, my work is very important for me.
Bhaiya hugs Sonakshi: Sonakshi, you know that your success and work is more important for me than my own work. I want you to be very successful. I want you to not only get business woman of the year award, but business person of the year award and that too every year. And I will clap for your from the front seat and proudly say that you are my wife.
Sonakshi: Then why are you doing this?
Bhaiya says: Sonakshi, I promise. This will not impact your work negatively at all. Work is work. So it doesn't matter where you do that from. No?
Sonakshi looks at him weirdly.
Me: Sonakshi, tell me something. Are you an idiot?
The reason you are in this situation is because you don't know how to say what needs to be said.
Allow me to clarify how this conversation could have gone.
Bhaiya: What is strange in this, Sonakshi? Look, if you work from home, after couple of days you will feel more comfortable working from home.
Smart Sonakshi: It's not the matter of me being comfortable. It's the matter of my personal choice. Where I want to work, how I want to work is my decision to make. Not yours.
Bhaiya hugs Sonakshi: Sonakshi, you know that your success and work is more important for me than my own work. I want you to be very successful. I want you to not only get business woman of the year award, but business person of the year award and that too every year. And I will clap for your from the front seat and proudly say that you are my wife.
Smart Sonakshi: Great. That's excellent. You can do all that and I will do the same for you. But what you can't do is arrange my work as you see fit. My work is off limit to you just like your work is off limits to me.
Bhaiya says: Sonakshi, I promise. This will not impact your work negatively at all. Work is work. So it doesn't matter where you do that from. No?
Smart Sonakshi: Again, that's not for you to decide. Whether I work from home, from office or from the moon, that's my business. I am the owner of this company and I will decide how I want to conduct my business. So please, from now on, don't arrange my work without my consent. I don't appreciate it.
Problem solved. Now you wait and see what he does and based on that contact a psychiatrist. If you don't set a boundary, he will not only cross the line, but will also jump into your lap and suffocate you. That's why he is and that's who Ishwari was.
Do you not remember how Ishwari behaved when you two didn't set a boundary on her relationship? She took over your marriage. You are doing exactly the same with Bhaiya what he did with Ishwari in season one. Set the damn boundary, dammit.
Bhaiya gets a call, he tells the person on the other end to hold, then he hugs Sonakshi and wishes her a good day and walks away.
Sonakshi looks mad.
Me: But of course, she won't say anything. God forbid if she opens her mouth. Instead she will fume in private and do as she wishes which will lead to a fight.
Then Bhaiya will argue, plead, use love to cajole her. She will again go silent and fume in private and the vicious cycle of moron will continue until eternity.
Sonakshi comes down dressed (In a much better, age appropriate outfit).
Ishwari asks: Arre, Sonakshi? Are you going out?
Sonakshi says: Yes Maa. I have a lot of meetings so I am going out.
Ishwari: You are going out for meetings? But Dev just said before leaving that all your meetings are at home. He has done such a great arrangement that he said that you won't have any problem. In fact you can even work until late.
She sees Sonakshi's angry expression and asks: What happened?
Sonakshi says: Yes, Maa. Dev has called all my clients and called them home without telling me.
Ishwari is shocked.
Sonakshi rolls her eyes and says: Maa, I know whatever Dev is doing is for my own good. But I want to keep my personal life and my professional life separate and it's necessary too. Yes, I know that Dev is doing this to keep me safe and to protect me. But I will do all my meeting in my office. Okay? I am going, Maa.
Sonakshi walks away.
Ishwari is worried.
Me: You know, Sonakshi what you are reminding me of? A teenager rebelling against her parents.
All these stuff that you go and say to Ishwari or Elena, what is stopping you from saying this to Bhaiya? No really. Tell me.
Why do you turn into a dumb mute in front of him and the moment he leaves you go and rant in front of Elena or Ishwari?
Either tell him what you want to say and openly refuse to let him control your life or conform to his bidding.
But what you are doing is as if Bhaiya is Bijoy who is not letting you meet your boyfriend so you are pretending in front of him and sneaking behind his back.
Here's an advice from someone who is married to a type A bulldozer personality type being a type B person and still retained her sense of self and individuality.
(Those of you who don't know what I am talking about, check this out > Personality Types)
The only way to deal with people like type A is to set boundaries.
One of my husband's friend once told me that she had asked my husband how do I, being a more easy going person, manage to live with such an aggressive person like my husband?
And apparently my husband said and I am quoting (Andrea, if you are reading this, remember this conversation?), "My wife is easy going, but she is no pushover. She is willing to let go of things that don't matter to her. But the things which is important to her, she digs her heel and refuses to move. And no matter what I say, do or try, I know that she is not going to let me get away with this one at any cost. And she also is very clear about how far I can push her. Had she not set that limit or had been a pushover, I'd have walked all over her. But I am glad that she isn't a pushover. Everyone needs to know when to back off. I help her to be more assertive person and she keeps me in check from being too overbearing."
So Sonakshi, since you have the mental case version of type A personality, I'd suggest for you to not be a pushover. Speak up and challenge him.
Because as scared you looked yesterday, it's obvious that you at least don't fear for your safety. So who puts duct tape on your mouth in front of Bhaiya?
Soha is with her classmates (including Golu) and her teacher on the road.
The teacher says: Remember what I taught you in class? First see left, then right. Okay?
All kids agree. But Soha sees a toy shop across the street and teddy bears hanging there and starts walking towards it like a moron.
Me: Keeping in mind, this is the kid who used to go everywhere alone without any mishap and moronic acts when she was in Bose house. That's how she met Ishwari in the temple. But take her to Dixit house, and she suddenly becomes moronic in lau with a roadside teddy as if she is deprived of toys. It seems Dixit house's air turns smart people into idiots.
Suddenly a bike comes and Suhana closes her eyes.
Golu and the teacher shout her name.
Me: Also, she lost her presence of mind. This time she wasn't even in shock of finding out who her father is. She is just stupid now.
Anyhoo, Bhaiya gets a phone call at work. It's Suhana's school informing him of her accident.
He excuses himself and leaves.
Sonakshi is meeting someone when she gets Bhaiya's call. Sonakshi sees the call, but doesn't pick up the phone.
Bhaiya says to himself: Come on, Sonakshi. Pick up the phone. Didn't I say at least stay close to the phone?
Me: Bhaiya, what's the need for phone? As far as you know, Sonakshi is at home. Then you can just as easily call the landline, no?
The lady with her tells her that she can pick up the phone.
But Sonakshi says that she doesn't need to. She will call later and will send the drafts to her by mail.
But the phone keeps ringing. So she finally excuses herself and picks up the phone. She asks why is he calling. She was in a meeting.
Bhaiya says: It's not the time to argue. Just reach Suhana's school.
Sonakshi asks for the reason and Bhaiya tells her.
She is shocked.
Me: Sonakshi, here's the deal. If you don't want to pick up a call during meeting, then show some manners and put it on silent. If you keep it in full volume, then the constant ringing is annoying to the client. They might say with due courtesy that you can attend the call, but you should show some courtesy as well and shut off your phone.
They both hop onto their car and leave for school.
Bhaiya calls her again: Sonakshi, where are you? I am stuck in traffic.
Sonakshi says: I am also stuck in traffic in the highway.
Bhaiya is surprised to hear that: Highway? Why did you go to Gurgaon?
Sonakshi says: I had meeting and had to meet my client.
Bhaiya says: Sonakshi, while you are there with your client, Suhana is alone. You just stay over there.
Me: Say what? Then why don't you stay wherever you are too, Bhaiya? Suhana doesn't have you beside her holding her pinkie either.
Bhaiya reaches school and sees Suhana with bandage on her head.
He asks if she is alright. The doctor comes there and says that there's no need to worry. It's a minor injury. He has bandaged her. She will be fine in few days.
The doctor gives her ice cream. Suhana thanks him.
The doctor leaves.
Me: Also in the right place since Suhana's brain got damaged by Dixit trauma.
Also, since when you get ice cream for head injury? Did she get her teeth taken out? Seriously, this show is like medical profession ki maa ki aankh... (Eff the medical profession)...
Bhaiya asks: Suhana, where is your Mummy?
Suhana says: Mamma is not here. Papa, where is Mamma?
Bhaiya is more in pain of Sonakshi not being here than Suhana.
He says: She will come. You don't have to worry about her. You tell me how did you get injured?
Suhana says: We went out with our teacher.
Me: No Suhana. That's not how you got the injury. If you have to answer in one line, this is a better answer, "I was walking like a moron in the street staring at a teddy bear". Now that's the right answer in a single sentence. But these days, you lie like Golu like when he had said that a girl named Suhana Bose bothers him without telling Bhaiya about what he did.
Bhaiya asks: Which teacher?
Suhana raises her finger and points at her.
Bhaiya sees Vicky is talking to the teacher. He is saying: First of all, you should not have taken the kids to the street. And if you had taken her, you should have paid attention to them. What if something had happened to Suhana? You are a teacher and you...
Suddenly he sees Bhaiya. He says thank you and leaves.
Me: Now what is this new drama? Until today, Suhana was his personal pin cushion and suddenly so much concern? How did he find out about Suhana anyway? The school didn't call Sonakshi, then why would they call Vicky?
Bhaiya glares at the teacher: What happened? How did such a huge injury happened in your presence?
The teacher says: Mr. Dixit, please calm down. Every kids were in queue. Suhana suddenly got distracted by a teddy and left the queue to go after the teddy. I wanted to talk to you and Mrs. Dixit. Where's Mrs. Dixit? She is not here?
Bhaiya is upset.
Me: What upset? Tell the teacher to give a time to meet with you two. Even if Sonakshi was here, would you two waste your time meeting with the teacher or take your daughter with the "huge injury" home? Seriously?
Sonakshi comes home and calls Suhana's name.
Bhaiya says: Be quiet. Suhana is sleeping.
Sonakshi says: But I want to see her, Dev.
Bhaiya grabs her hand and drags her to him: Sonakshi, I told you naa. She was waiting for you, but I made her understand that you are busy at work.
Me: Ummm... Bhaiya. Suhana is used to her mother working. That's how she grew up. I doubt she was throwing a tantrum and pining away into a stick because her mother and father BOTH didn't show up at the same time.
One parent is more than enough to pick up a kid from school. This is not her graduation ceremony.
Sonakshi says: Dev, I went to school. But why didn't you call and tell me that you are bringing her home?
Bhaiya: I didn't call because I thought you'd be busy, in a meeting. So I shouldn't disturb.
Sonakshi: Dev, I was stuck in traffic. What else could I do?
Me: Precisely. Which he also knew because you had told him exactly that when he called you to deliver the same news.
Bhaiya: Okay. So next time if Suhana asks about her mother, I will tell her that she was stuck in traffic, not busy in a meeting.
Me: Seriously? What's the big deal? Whatever is the situation then, just tell Suhana that. Unlike Sonakshi who had to make up fake excuses every time you disappeared to sulk and pout, her situations doesn't require fake excuses. The truth is very much acceptable and understandable in her case. I can't say the same for your Milkha tendencies though.
Sonakshi says: I don't know why you are getting so angry. The moment I got your call, I left from there.
Bhaiya: When Suhana needed her mother, you weren't there.
Me: But you were there naa? Then? Think of it as your making up for lost times for all those years when Suhana needed her father and you weren't there. You got opportunities now. So take charge and be there.
I didn't see Suhana whining for Sonakshi as much you are whining for her.
Sonakshi says: I can't predict all these.
Bhaiya: If you had listened to me, this won't have happened.
Sonakshi glares at him.
Bhaiya says: I should have taken some decisions long ago.
Sonakshi: What decisions?
Bhaiya says: From now on, you don't go to work.
Sonakshi: Huh?
Bhaiya: From now on, you will work from home and manage all meetings and work from home. This will be good for our family. You will be at home. So you will be available for Suhana all the time.
Me: Wait a minute. I think my hearing got damaged. I thought Bhaiya said that he should have taken a decision long back, but all he talked about is what Sonakshi should be doing.
Then who is taking the decision exactly? I mean as far as I understand, if it's about Sonakshi's work, then she should take the decision.
Now Bhaiya can do exactly what he suggested himself. As in he can work from home and manage his work and meetings from here so that he is available for Suhana. But he can't tell Sonakshi that.
Sonakshi is shocked: Dev, I don't want to talk to you at all. You are not understanding that this time is not the time to taunt and fight with each other. I am going to Soha.
She leaves.
Bhaiya starts making calls and says: I want Sonakshi's home office design asap.
Me: You really think that you will set a nicely decorated diamond studded cage with luxury furniture and Sonakshi will tweety toot her way in without protest? Don't you know your wife at all, Bhaiya?
Ishwari is sitting with Suhana and rubbing her hand.
Sonakshi comes there crying.
She says: Soha, what happened? I am sorry, Mumma wasn't with you.
Soha says: It's okay, Mumma. Now I am fine. Vicky chachu reached there before anyone else and he took me to the doctor and he also scolded the doctor.
Ishwari looks at Radha who comes to the door.
Me: But the question is, how did Vicky know that Suhana got injured because the school calls parents. If Golu's school never even called Vicky for Golu, then why would they call Vicky for Soha? Is he also stalking Soha and Golu to manipulate a way in?
Sonakshi smiles and says: I am glad you are alright. You must be in pain, no? You should rest now. Mamma is with you. Go to sleep.
She kisses Suhana's hand.
Radha says: My red has made mistakes, he has hurt everybody. But he is not evil. If he gets a chance, he will definitely fix his mistakes.
Me: I am sure an axe murderer's mother also thinks the same. By the way, Radha, this is not Vicky's first mistake. This is the biggest one. He had made mistakes before and he kept getting chances. Sorry, you don't get unlimited chances in life. You should have thought about it before letting him get away with his backstabbing.
Ishwari says: It's very hard to change Dev's decision. He thinks very carefully before doing anything. And Vicky has given him such a huge reason.
Radha: Jiji, my Vicky will never return in this home?
Ishwari walks away silently.
Radha asks Sonakshi, the soft touch/popularity contest contender: Sonakshi, you also think that my Vicky will never be a better person? You also think that he shouldn't get another chance? I agree that he made a lot of mistakes and his mistakes aren't worth forgiving. But was Dev throwing him out of the house right?
Sonakshi takes the easy way out: Mamiji, right now, I am not getting anything except Soha.
Radha says: Sonakshi, when one's child get hurt, it hurts parents a lot. I am glad to know that you know this very well.
Radha leaves crying. Sonakshi is sad.
Me: Okay, smart Sonakshi time again. Stupid Sonakshi, watch and learn.
Radha asks: Sonakshi, you also think that my Vicky will never be a better person? You also think that he shouldn't get another chance? I agree that he made a lot of mistakes and his mistakes aren't worth forgiving. But was Dev throwing him out of the house right?
Smart Sonakshi: Mamiji, everyone makes mistakes. But only those deserve a second chance who repents for their mistakes. And Vicky didn't just get second chance, he got third, fourth and fifth chances. Even I gave him a chance after I found out what he did against my better judgement.
But what did he do? Instead of repenting, he tried to sabotage and bankrupt my husband. So I am asking you. If I was where Vicky is and I had hurt Vicky and despite you giving me another chance, I tried to hurt Vicky again and not repent even an ounce, would you keep giving me chances?
Radha says: Sonakshi, when one's child get hurt, it hurts parents a lot. I am glad to know that you know this very well.
Smart Sonakshi: Yes, I know. When one's child gets hurt, it hurts. But when that child goes around hurting others, then they will have to pay the price. And by the way, your child isn't hurting because he is repenting. He is hurting because he lost his cushy life and if he keeps getting chances after screwing up, he will never learn his lesson.
Elena comes to meet Vicky. Vicky asks how is she and then comes to the point: Did Dev bhai talk about me?
Elena says: Vicky, no one is talking about you at home.
Vicky says: That means I have to stay out of the home. It means I can't even come there, naa?
Me: And that was the whole point. He is not upset that he lost his family. He is upset that he lost his cushy life.
Had he really wanted to meet his family, he will get a job, work hard and bring his family to stay with him. But is he doing that? No. He is just trying to locate a short cut to re-enter Dixit house to mooch off Bhaiya.
Elena says: Of course not. Dev bhai is still angry and frankly, I don't blame him.
Vicky: Why would you blame him? Had you not told him anything Elena, he won't have thrown me out. Why did you do this, Elena? When I was leaving, you didn't even once supported me?
Elena says: Yes, Vicky. I did this. Because I want you to make a new beginning without any lies and fear. Because you need to know how much you have hurt your family. If you don't realise then how will you fix your mistakes? Believe it or not, I did it all for you so that you don't repeat the same mistakes. You have everything. We love each other. We have Golu. We don't need anything else. If you want, you can achieve everything you want to achieve. But at least give yourself a chance, please.
Vicky thinks.
Me: Is this guy serious? You frigging idiot, even if Elena hadn't told him about the past, you already had dug enough hole with Thakkar to bury yourself in. So either way you'd have been kicked out. Whatever Elena told him became just an add on at that point.
And support? From Elena? Well, she has come to meet you at least. When she ditched her family, she didn't even ask them if they are still alive or dead. So count yourself lucky. She must really love you.
Sonakshi and Dev are sitting in an office.
That guy (who knows who he is): You should pay attention some more. You can't stop accident. But after accident, a child needs moral and psychological support and I don't think anyone better than you can provide that.
Me: Wow!!! Sonakshi took my advice. She took Bhaiya to psychiatrist. Yay!!!
The dude: Dr. Bose, you are a mother, naa? You should take care of your child more. Listen to me carefully. All these work, business comes later. You shouldn't be this much careless again.
Me: Hain? Sonakshi is Bhaiya's mother? Wait, is this dude talking about Soha? What the?
You bloody arse, Soha needs frigging moral and psychological support for behaving like an idiot who didn't even get a single problem for not meeting her father for 7 years?
And why the heck Sona has to care for more than Bhaiya?
And how was Sonakshi careless? Did the accident happened on her watch? No. The accident happened on your school hours. So it's your responsibility. Why don't you also quit your job and care for your kids, you jerk?
God, how does chauvinist pricks become in charge of schools?
Bhaiya says: That's enough. I got what you are trying to say.
Me: Good for you. Also tell him that don't try to shift the blame on Sonakshi because your stuff was incompetent. What happened was Suhana and your stuff's fault.
Sonakshi is kissing a sleeping Suhana. Bhaiya comes there.
Bhaiya: When I see you loving Suhana like this, I feel a lot of love for you. I guess I love seeing you in the role of a mother.
Sonakshi: And in other roles? I am Soha's mother, was and always will be. Whether I am around her all the time, it doesn't change anything, right?
Bhaiya: You are talking about working from home thing. Sonakshi, you still have problem with my idea of you working from home?
Sonakshi: Dev, you know I can do anything for Soha. Okay, tell me one thing. Tell me, whom you admire the most in life?
Bhaiya: What kind of question is this?
Sonakshi: Answer me.
Bhaiya: Of course my mother.
Sonakshi: And why do you admire her?
Bhaiya: Because Maa has done a lot for us, she never gave up, sacrificed a lot for us, (Me: Yadi yadi yada. You know the drill).
Sonakshi: Then Dev, if I want to do something for my daughter's future. If I want to make sure that she looks up to me when she grows up, then what's wrong in that?
Bhaiya: Sonakshi, why aren't you understanding? My mother and our situation is different. We have everything.
Sonakshi: Exactly. You have everything but I haven't reached there yet.
Bhaiya: What is mine, isn't it yours as well?
Sonakshi: And what I earn, won't that be yours as well? Dev, I want when Soha grows up, she doesn't just have her Papa as her role model, but her Mamma should also be her role model. Her mother should have her own place like you have for your mother. Dev, I want to achieve that. Today whatever I am is because of Soha. I got my inspiration from her. If tomorrow she asks me, what should I tell her? That I left everything because your Papa has everything? What kind of example is that? I don't want to lose my identity.
Bhaiya: What about your responsibility for Soha? What about them?
Sonakshi: Soha is my responsibility and I will take care of her like I always had been. But Dev, is she only my responsibility? Dev, she is our daughter.
Bhaiya thinks.
Me: Excellent. Finally Smart Sonakshi showed up. This is exactly what I wanted her to do, Sonakshi.
Without losing your temper, without whining to others, just talk with clear cut logic.
Where were you Smart Sonakshi? Stupid Sonakshi was annoying me for so long....
PRECAP: Sonakshi asks her colleague when is the next meeting.
The colleague answers: You have no meeting scheduled at office.
Sonakshi calls Bhaiya.
Bhaiya says: Where are you Sonakshi? You should have been at home. Okay, come home soon. People are waiting for you here for meeting.
Sonakshi keeps shouting Dev, Dev. But he hangs the phone.
Ishwari is standing behind Bhaiya shocked.
Me: I am totally getting you, Ishwari. It's hard to see one's son turning crazy. Now Sonakshi is not doing anything. At least you take him to a psychiatrist. You are getting how bad his condition is getting, right?
NO RULES!!! YAY!!!
Hey Tia!! Look who is here!! Thank you sooo much for your advice.I implemented it and the results couldn't have been better.Long story in short.I had a long and fruitful conversation with my parents about the matter.At first they were apprehensive but later on the guy came over for lunch and met them.They took a liking to him.And now we are in a relationship.Well basically I feel it's like a friendship and we are getting to understand each other.Lets see how this turns out to be.
ReplyDeleteI wanted to log in and comment but I was facing some problems with my Google account.
Now coming from Asli Duniya to Dixit Pagal Khaana.I saw the last two episodes including this one and I am flabbergasted.Good thing that Vicky was exposed finally and Sona got decent costumes.
Now coming to the bad things.Bhaiya needs to see a psychiatrist ASAP.This roop of Bhaiya is more dangerous that his Dev Ki Deewangi and Roadside Dev Avatar.
Doesn't he have an ounce of respect for Sona's privacy and her professional life??? Its her work,her enterprise.Who the hell is he to decide when she would go to office?? He is literally restricting her movements.And Sona the colossal idiot is allowing him to do that.This is NOT love.This is close to mental abuse.And Dev's behaviour is scary.He wants to control every aspect of her life.
God forbid if I ever came across such a guy in my personal life I wouldn't waste a moment before kicking him out.But Sona the Namoona literally invited Bhaiya to come and control her life.And under what excuse?? Love?? Aise love se toh loveless zindagi behtar hai.
Had she married Ritik or Jatin then atleast zindagi main security hoti,shani hoti and I can tell this without any doubt that both Ritik and Jatin would have given utmost respect to her.
Bhaiyya on the other hand treats her like his prized possession.His trophy jisko dhyaan se polish karke shelf par sajaana hai.
Congrats dear..communication is the best way to face and solve problem. Good u communicated.
DeleteYes..either dev is my cup of tea. I cannot bear such ppl
Thanks Pramila!!! Yes.Communication.Communication is the magical word.Something which never existed between Dev and Sona.
DeleteYay, Ashi. Congratulations. Will respond later. Gotta run home to see off my husband.
DeleteHey Ashi, that's great. I am very happy that it all worked out for you. Communication is the key to healthy relationships.
DeleteAs for the show, Bhaiya might be mad, but Sonakshi is an idiot. And that's a horrid combination. Hence the incompatibility. That's why I wanted them to wait before jumping into marriage again. But Bhaiya and Sona have this speciality that they both think their relationship only needs Ishwari's approval to survive. So the moment Ishwari gave her nod, Sonakshi and Bhaiya jumped.
Hi Ashi all the best for ur relationship. I m sure now u ll be at peace of mind since u told to ur parents. Otherwise there is a little guilt if we hide anything as important from our parents.
ReplyDeleteComing to the serial. It's become so weird. Everything happens here overnight. One night mein breakup. One night mein patch up. Ishwari became mahaan overnight. Now bhaiya became psycho overnight. The nature and priorities change overnight. It looks like a force track. Now that there is no villain, give that role to Dev. Bechara his character is the scapegoat for all experiments of cvs. Abhi to uska gaali khana thoda kam hua tha. Ab vapas chalu ho jayega 😂
But guys don't u think Sonakshi deserves this. Looking at how desperately she jumped into this relationship without solving any problems between them yeh to hona hi tha. There cud have been any other prob also but these two are utterly incompatible and poles apart in their thinking and ideologies that they can't solve any problem together.
Seriously this track is also utterly disgusting. Cudnt get any head and tail of it. Looks too forced
Completely agree with you.
DeleteJab bhi budget main villains fit nahi hote toh Bhaiya ko villain ki topi pehna dete hain.Ishwari toh sudhar gayi.Khatri is out of the equation.Vicky bhi gaya.So now Bhaiya has become the undisputed king of villainpanti.
Seriously just when I was beginning to think that Bhaiya finally sudhar rahe hain the CVs show their Asli rang.
Had there been any other woman apart from Sonakshi I would have felt bad for her.But Sona madam is an unique case.A person commits a mistake once then it's a mistake.But Sona has repeated the same mistake time and again.Now I can't even sympathise with her.Life gave her many chances.First during the first breakup then during the 2nd breakup.But Bhabhi toh hates stability and peace naa.
Toh yeh bipolar Bhaiya and iinke pyaar ke rang Sona ko mubarak ho.
Natasha is a lucky girl.Woh bach gayi.
Wat can sonakshi also do. Her own mother was behind her to get them reconciled.
DeleteI know Mili.Asha is also a culprit.
DeleteBut Sona should have used her brains too naa
Are as soon as Aasha mata comes to know of Sonakshi's issue she ll tell her to be patient as its no big deal and she has been facing this behaviour of Bijoy since long.
DeletePhir se koi bakwas advice degi.
Seriously who needs enemies when you have a mom like asha??😒😒
DeleteYes she should have. But when u hav loved ones constantly telling u and cajoling u u tend to believe them. Besides that Sonakshi 's a fool,proved by the last two episodes
DeleteI completely agree with you guys. Sonakshi may not deserve how Bhaiya is suffocating her in the name of love, but she is partly responsible for that too.
DeleteHer problem is that she lets Bhaiya walk all over her even though she doesn't want to instead of speaking out. She keeps her mouth shut until the water is over her head.
And another of her problem which is where her pushover tendencies stem from us her need to please other people.
She got into this relationship (as you guys pointed out), to please Ishwari, Asha, Bhaiya. Even though she wasn't ready and she was hesitating, she got convinced by others that this is her only chance of happiness. So she again without trying to find out why she was hesitating in the first place, jumped in again with eyes closed.
And how she is realising what I had been saying since the beginning. They are incompatible and inflexible. If they were compatible, they won't need to change to Ben together. If they are flexible, then incompatibility could be overcome. But they are neither and hence they will never live a peaceful life.
Aww congrats ashi😘😘😘😘 enjoy this dating phase and best of luck for future.
ReplyDeleteI would have enjoyed Sona ka this phase but this is such a throwback to domestic abuse shown in crime petrol type shows I just can't watch. It's scary and uncomfortable.
I understand very well.I had barely gotten over Beyhadh when Dev became Maya Baby 2.0
DeleteIt's unbearable for me too.
Take my advice.Watch Naamkarann.The lead character Neil Khanna is a guy for whom girls would kill.He is intense,passionate and he is dignified and a total gentleman.Something which Dev Bhaiya can never be.
Thanks for your wishes!!😘😘
I DO WATCH NAAMKARAN!!!! HAVE YOU SEEN MY IF SIGGIE BOX???? that show is love and only thing I am invested in right now. Neil is #goals man...sigh😘😘😘😍😍😍😍
DeleteThanks for the update Tia. I missed the epi bcoz of Friday night out. ur summer events sound soo much fun.
ReplyDeleteAnd surprise who is here...our vry own Ashi!!!
Got to agree Bhaiya is scaring me off these days with tht music and his actions.
In btwn, in which international school does the principal talk like tht to a mother -cum-famous businesswoman? Again stupid.
I dont understand one thing, why isnt anyone thinking tht this Sonakshi took care of Soha with the help of her family in the last 7 yrs particularly during those times, when she actually needed Dev. Now , Soha is independent herself and is a sensible kid...so, suddenly this work from home to take care of Soha sounds lame. If she cud manage to work when Soha was 2 or 3 then why not now?
Dev is scaring me as well as irritating me.
After watching the segments, I am even more irritated with Dev. He said hhis mother loved him so for many yrs and he didnt feel suffocation, why shud Sona feel suffocated by this kind of love?Lo kar lo baat!! S1 mein Ishu maiya ka naya paar ho gaya...S2 mein iska hoga laga raha hai
I cant help feeling the irony tht he himself broke his bond with his maiya as her love suffocated his relationship with Sona and now, he feels he never suffocated?!! Eh!! Ye aadmi hai ke nahi!!
I actually hated the thought process of Ish in S1 and now, Dev's logic of love.
Even though Sona chose Dev, as she loved him, doesnt make Bhaiya any less appealing.
I wanted to punch Bhaiya tonight.
Congrats Ashi !!! *hugs n kisses*
DeleteGauri this is throw back to Sona moment when she was like "Na na, no issue with Mama's boy. No problem in marriage. Lol break up what? Divorce who?" During that utter shit engagement track. Dev is also going to magically forget his mom was ever culprit...they misunderstood ishu ka louu . Rem ishu used to say jab tum parent banoge samjhoge...ye lo dev samajh Gaya😜😜😜
DeleteExcellent point. Who is Bhaiya to raise questions on Sonakshi's priority when she was the only one running business and raising Soha (pretty successfully I might add) all these years? In fact Sonakshi should have questioned Bhaiya's priority when he runs away sulking when he doesn't get his way.
DeleteBut you are right. Bhaiya is ditto Ishwari as we knew her in season one complete with insecurity and possessiveness. Bhaiya claims that he didn't feel suffocated in season one by Ishwari but Sonakshi felt suffocated then and she feels suffocated now.
I recommended Ishwari to be taken to a psychiatrist then and I am recommending Bhaiya to be taken to a psychiatrist now.
Both have the same problem and since miraculous turn around isn't predictable, Sonakshi had to fix Bhaiya the normal way as in through modern science.
But the reason things are escalating is because Sonakshi is making the same mistakes as she did in season one. She let Ishwari run roughshed over her marriage until the water went over her head and now she is letting Bhaiya wear her down like a velvet hammer until she can't take it anymore.
What the eff is she waiting for? If she takes care of the problem on time, then things don't escalate. But instead she complains and whines behind his back and blabbers irrelevant nonsense excuses in front of him.
He is mad. But she is supposedly sane woman naa?
Thanks Tia for the hug...3rd,4th and 7th r marked n my calendar...LOL
ReplyDeleteThanks hun. Hugs and kisses!!!
Delete